Work-family. Why?

A few weeks ago, my team and I lost a colleague. We lost a friend. He was someone who was larger than life, with a booming voice that echoed through corridors, bright suit jackets that reflected the joys of the suns’ rays and could give a hug that would smash through any negativity filling your day.?

This was the first time I had ever lost a colleague. It was really profound for me. Despite the rapid flow of initial feels - shock, sadness, disbelief - there was a sense of ‘am I allowed to feel this much sadness’? We were colleagues after all, not family, so surely grief should be reserved for those closest?

But we were family. We were a work family. We met on my second day at work, we celebrated a big career milestone (promotion) together and he was a cheerleader and great support whenever you had to step outside of your comfort zone, make a big presentation or pitch and be the first person there to celebrate your wins.?

On average we spend one third of our life at work (1) (Andrew Naber, 2007). Here’s some other bewildering data points:

• The average person will spend over 90,000 hours at work over their lifetime (1)
• Gallup data suggests that more than 300 million people globally don’t have a single friend (2)
• 20% of people don’t have friends or family that they can count on (2)
• Adults are now more likely to make friends at work than any other way (2)
• In a global study conducted by the International Social Survey Program, relationships ranked 1st out of 12 domains of workplace quality relating to job satisfaction (2)
• Microsoft found that when its new hires met with their buddy more than eight times in their first 90 days on the job, 97% said that their buddy helped them become productive quickly. But when new hires met with their buddy only once during the first 90 days, that number was only 56% (2)
• A survey, which sampled 1,000 full-time office workers ages 18-65, found that having a familial relationship with coworkers boosts productivity and feelings of well-being in the workplace (3)
• Additionally, the study found that 83 percent of U.S. employees say their work family makes them feel happier (3)
• Meanwhile, 69 percent say they are more successful at work because of these close connections (3)

I’m not really a data person, but I found some of those tidbits… well, challenging. 300 million people don’t have a single friend; my heart is broken.?

I’m very lucky to have a wonderful and robust work-family. When I relocated from my home state, alone and knowing not a single person in my new city and state, I relied on the kindness of my colleagues to open the doors of friendship. I have been on many journeys with them: we have celebrated birthdays, weddings, promotions, the birth of children, new furry family members, holidays, conferences, bottomless brunches. But, we have also cried together over: cancer-diagnoses, failed IVF, miscarriages, relationship breakdowns, promotion pass-overs, shitty and rude customers, the passing of loved ones.?

And you know what, it makes us better workers. Because we are better people. The world is high on buzz words right now. Vulnerability is one of them. I don’t disagree that vulnerability leads to a greater ability to form meaningful relationships with others. It’s important, but it must be earnt. You don’t earn that privilege quickly or without giving; and you must give, in order to receive.

So, please, can we build better workplaces by building better people. That’s what my colleague taught me. And that is how legacy lives on.?

“When people share a common goal and achieve great things together, they form a connection. The joy is in working together to produce magic. Using the Beatles as an example of a high-performing team, The Economist states: ‘The Beatles love what they do for a living. When they are not playing music, they are talking about it or thinking about it. They do take after take of their own songs, and jam constantly’.” - John Clifton, Harvard Business Review

This article was proudly written by a human, and not by AI.?

Sources:

1 https://www.gettysburg.edu/news/stories?id=79db7b34-630c-4f49-ad32-4ab9ea48e72b

2 https://hbr.org/2022/10/the-power-of-work-friends?

3 https://www.cnbc.com/2017/12/14/this-study-identified-the-5-people-that-make-up-a-work-family.html?

4 https://ourworldindata.org/time-with-others-lifetime