Work BFFs: How close is too close? Let's discuss the slippery slope of office friendships

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We spend about 90,000 hours at work in our lifetime. Yeah, you read that right. That means we're spending a whole lot of time with our co-workers. So naturally, after a while, some of those co-workers take on a new title: work besties.?

Work friendships might even leave the confines of the office. You go to your teammate's wedding or hang out with your desk neighbor on the weekends. But here's the thing: navigating these relationships can be tricky when you're walking the line between personal and professional.?

How much is too much to share? What if your work bestie suddenly becomes your boss? There are a ton of dynamics to consider, which I didn't fully grasp until I started building bonds at work.

Gen Z's on the market for work besties

When I started my job over three years ago, I was definitely looking for work friends. Life immediately after college can feel pretty lonely, so I leaned into my work environment to make new connections. Turns out, I was far from alone in this quest.

LinkedIn data shows that younger workers are much more likely to say they need work friends. Some 55% of Gen Zers and 46% of millennials say so, compared to 34% of Gen Xers and 33% of baby boomers.

Most of my work friendships happened organically, especially with people around my age; we bonded over being in a similar phase of our careers. These friendships have totally boosted my job satisfaction and created a real sense of belonging.

This is a double-edged sword, though. When you form close relationships with people you work with, you get super invested. It's upsetting when you or they leave. You might also start to feel a certain degree of loyalty to the person, which could land you in some uncomfortable, sticky situations.

How to approach office friendships

Work friendships are clearly a slippery slope. They can increase your happiness and make you feel supported but also cause (avoidable) drama.

Jamé and I tackled this topic in the latest episode of Let's Talk Offline. We explored the nuances of work friendships and shared strategies for building meaningful connections while maintaining healthy boundaries.

Here are some highlights from our conversation:?

• You have to be thoughtful and intentional about who you invest your time and energy with. You don't need to be friends with everyone and you don't even need close work friends. But you're probably still looking for a community at work, so you have to start somewhere.
• Reach out to a few co-workers and ask them to grab lunch or get coffee. You can even do this virtually. Then, it's up to you to decide how much time and energy you want to put in.
• Understand your boundaries and remember power dynamics. The relationship you have with your manager is likely going to be different than the relationship you have with someone who's the same level as you.
• Listen to your gut to determine who you feel comfortable sharing personal details with. Trust builds over time, so try to match the other person's energy. As they open up, you can too.

?? Listen to the full episode of Let's Talk Offline for more on navigating workplace friendships. You'll hear some juicy stories about work besties gone wrong. ?

?? In this episode, we've got another Show the Receipts topic to discuss: taking a pay cut to spend more time at home with your pet(s). Apparently, some Gen Z and millennial workers are willing to sacrifice pay for their furry friends. Let's just say that Jamé had lots of thoughts as a dog mom of three. Listen to the episode to hear our POVs and then share yours in the comments.

?? After you listen to the episode, let us know what you think! Share your takeaways by tagging Jamé and I in a post on LinkedIn. We want to chat with our work besties!

Extra, extra!!

I mentioned in the episode that in this week's newsletter, I'd be sharing advice on building a relationship with a mentor, since we didn't get to that on the show. So, here are my top tips:

1. Clarify your needs and goals: The first step is to figure out what you'd like to gain from a mentor-mentee relationship and to consider what unique perspective you bring to the table.
2. Identify potential mentors: Formalizing a mentoring relationship rarely happens after one chat; they take time to build. Have informal meet-and-greets with different people on your team and start to identify who you could see taking on a bigger role in your career development. P.S. Take advantage of company-provided programs, if available!
3. Make the ask: Approach your desired mentor and ask if they are interested in mentoring you and are able to commit their time. Share how you see them aiding your professional growth, what you hope to gain from their guidance and so on.
4. Set some ground rules: Determine how often you'd like to meet and how long each session should be. Understand how your mentor approaches mentoring (e.g. Do they want you to prepare questions for each meeting?) and share how you like to be mentored.
5. Know when to walk away: Some mentoring relationships last a few months; some last years. Regularly check in with your mentor to ensure that you're making progress and that your time together is still mutually beneficial.

Before you go…

A friendly reminder to listen to, follow and rate the show on your favorite podcast app. See all the ways you can find Let's Talk Offline here . Also, don't forget to send us your burning questions for our Dear Work Bestie segment. You can email us at [email protected] .?

See you back here next Tuesday. We'll be exploring how to turn your side hustle into a 9-to-5 job. Jamé and I were joined by Jahleane Dolne , who made this jump not too long ago. She's going to share how to know when it's time to go all in on your side hustle and how to lay the foundation for a smooth transition.?

In the meantime, remember Jamé and I always have your back. So if something comes up, let's talk offline.

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