Words without meaning

I would like to talk to you about one of my favourite subjects: words.? To be more specific, I’d like to talk to you about meaningless words.? To be even more specific still, I would like to talk to you about meaningless words and phrases as they apply to the demolition and construction industry.?

I have a stack of these but let’s start with one with which we are all familiar:? Fair Payment Scheme.? That’s a phrase that gets trotted out ad nauseam in construction circles; yet it is a phrase that is utterly without meaning or substance.? Fair Payment Scheme?? Fair on who?? And why on Earth do we need a scheme?? I’ve done the work, pay me what I am owed, and let’s all get on with our lives.

Here’s another one:? Equal Opportunities Employer.? Shouldn’t that go without saying.? Surely in 2025, employing and promoting people on merit rather than age, race, gender, religion or colour is just a given.

Competence Card.? Admittedly, half of this phrase - the card part - is true.? But the competence part is a lie; a falsehood; a deceit; a deception; a fabrication; fakery; and a fallacy.? (You see, I told you I love words).? These cards are a proof of competence in the same way that my B Grade maths O-Level makes me a mathematician.

Ergonomically designed.? According to Google, this means “designing products and environments that are comfortable, efficient, and safe for humans to use”.? Is that not the very least we should expect?? How long would you last as an equipment manufacturer if your machines were uncomfortable, difficult to operate and inherently unsafe?

Procurement weighting.? Again, I had to look this one up, just to be certain that I wasn’t doing the phrase a disservice.? I wasn’t.? It is described as “recognising contractors who have better performance records in terms of quality, competence, sustainability, time and cost.”? Sounds great in theory.? In practice?? The lowest bid generally gets the gig.

ISP or Industry Service Provider.? In NFDC circles, these used to be called Associate Members, but they are now known as ISPs.? These are equipment manufacturers, insurance companies and consultants that provide a service to the demolition industry.? They do that every day.? Always have, always will.? But, if they pay an annual subscription to the NFDC, they get to describe themselves as such.? What a bargain - Paying to proclaim that which you already are.

Future Proof.? Bullshit.? No-one knows what the future holds.? A few weeks ago, I believed that America was the good guy and Russia was the bad.? Now, apparently, they’re both on the same side, and Ukraine, Greenland and even Canada are in the US cross-hairs.? Even when applied to demolition and construction equipment, the term future proof is - at best - misleading and - at worst - disingenuous.? Machines and the systems they employ change like the seasons.? What is good today will likely be outmoded or obsolete in the next few years.

I’ll offer you a few more meaningless phrases; kind of like a quick-fire round:? Work/Life Balance.? Mental Health First Aider.? The Voice of the Demolition Industry.? Synergy.? Site Safety.? Gentleman’s Agreement.? Ease of maintenance.? Understanding employer.?

And now we come to the phrase that was the spark that ignited the flame; the two-word phrase that inspired everything else I have just said.? And those two words are “Called Upon”.? Can I use that phrase in a sentence?? Of course I can:? “The Federation of Master Builders has called upon the Government to introduce an industry-wide contractor licensing scheme”.? Or, if you prefer, “the National Federation of Demolition Contractors has called upon the Government to rethink its ‘refit first, demolish second’ mandate.”? Utterly meaningless in both instances.? In fact, in most cases, there is no actual “calling upon”.? Organisations, companies and individuals don’t pop into Number 10 Downing Street for a quiet word with Keir Starmer; they don’t write to their MP; and they don’t pull together anything as formal as an actual lobby.? Instead, they put their “calls” on social media in the entirely vain hope that a media outlet or – better still – a Government minister will happen upon their post, have a sudden rethink and make a very public U-turn.? Truth be told, they’re often not even bothered with that - They just like to be seen to be doing something, even if that something is entirely without merit or authenticity.

How do I know that “called upon” is without meaning and substance.? Here, I’ll prove it.? “I am calling upon the Governments of the world to end hunger.? I am calling upon the UK demolition industry to go a full year without a single accident or fatality.? I am calling upon Donald Trump to step aside and leave the job to someone less orange and less insane.? I am calling upon Elon Musk to organise a one-way trip to Venus for himself, Piers Morgan, Simon Cowell, Katie Hopkins, Sheridan Smith, Sam Smith, and the guy from the Go Compare adverts.? I am calling upon the powers that be in world football to crown West Ham United champions of Europe.? And I am calling on supermodel Helena Christensen to give me a call regarding dinner and, perhaps, more.”

You see.? Utterly pointless.

If you enjoyed this article, you might also like our previous article “don’t wait for the day”.

This article was written by Mark Anthony, founder and editor of DemolitionNews.com.

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