Words Matter.

I had a mentor when I was a middle level manager (with only 1 child at the time) that really changed the way that I approach the people I care about.

He taught me to express my feelings to those people. Sure, there's professionalism and being appropriate - but there's nothing wrong with adding a few important phrases to your vocab and use them well.

I appreciate you.

I love you.

You are important to me.

Now hear me out. I know throwing the L-word out there is probably going to ruffle some feathers. But I'm talking about sharing the sentiment - through your care and attention, through your support, and yes, sometimes with words. There may be a time where using those words might be the most important thing to share.

Our culture has stopped appreciating people well - and stopped expressing our feelings at the same time.

A month ago, someone on my team was 3 days into a stretch with a family member in the hospital, they sent me a text telling me that the family member wasn't going to make it - and my response as - I love you and I'm so sorry.

In our spread out and virtual world, it's so hard to do tangible things for people - sometimes all we have is our words. When you can't give a hug, can't drop off dinner, or anything tangible to show you care - you just need to use your words.

The other thing my mentor taught me was to say - I appreciate you.

It's a really powerful phrase. If you are a people leader, this needs to be a regular part of your vocabulary. It's simple, but it shows thoughtfulness, appreciation, and consideration.

Sometimes I have blind spots - I know that someone worked really hard to complete a priority project and deliver ahead of schedule - but I don't know what they sacrificed. I don't know if they missed telling their kid goodnight, or missed a soccer game, or pulled an all-nighter. But when we tell someone "we appreciate you" - it says that we care about what we can see and what we didn't see.

I may get flack for sharing this view.

I've worked with several leaders in my career that would be appalled to read this (and unfortunately most of them are women). But, the leaders that I respect, want to duplicate their results, and have fruit on the tree - all use these phrases liberally and often.

MOM EDITION: Both of these phrases are huge for children. They aren't used to hearing they are appreciated. In the busyness of the day to day it's easy for them to feel like they are bothering a busy and stressed out mom, but recognizing the little things they do to help and to acknowledge the value they bring to our lives will be transformative.