The Words that make you Wise

Once upon a time, a group of five frogs decided to race against each other. They gathered around a hill and decided that whoever climbs the hill and returned first would win the game. Everyone in the village got to know and gathered around the hill too.?

“On your marks, get set and GO!” Shouted one villager and the frogs started running.?

While all of them were just a quarter mile up, considering their speed, the villagers began to doubt whether anyone would be able to make it to the top.?“Come back, you won’t be able to do it,” screamed one villager. Hearing his loud voice, one frog turned back, tripped, and fell. The other four frogs were disappointed but continued walking.?

“Look at what happened to him,” said another villager looking at the injured frog. “It’s not a good idea. I think you should all come back.”?Two of those frogs began talking to each other. “I think the villager is right,” said one of them. “We are not even halfway through and look what happened to our friend. We should go back.” The second frog agreed and together they started walking back.?Seeing them going back, the fourth frog also lost hope, turned back, and started his return journey.?

However, the last frog remained steady and continued walking. The villagers were surprised. They kept calling him out loud, asking him to return, but he seemed too focused.?To the surprise of everyone, the frog reached on top of the cliff and quickly came back too. All villagers were surprised and began to applaud him. The frog took a courteous bow and went to meet his friends.?

“How did you manage to get up there? The villagers kept calling you, why didn’t you respond?” Asked one frog.?“Don’t you remember I am short of hearing?” Replied the winning frog.

“I can only hear up to a distance so I could not hear anything the villagers said.”?

Why do you think the frog won? As much as we take our language lightly, the fact is that what we say to others can leave lasting impressions on them. On the contrary, encouraging words spoken in a way that the other person understands well can make them do wonders.?

Choosing the correct language for communication is important if you want the desired outcome. Once you understand this, it would help you motivate others, handle stress, take decisions, build trust and create great rapport with others in both your professional and personal lives.?

In this regard, scholars have discovered the science of NLP - Neuro Linguistic Programming, which helps one delve into the reality of another and communicate in a way that influences them.

NLP has proven that people respond far better when you speak their language. The other frogs could hear and understand what the villagers spoke hence they did what the villagers asked them to. This is called influence.

Even in the corporate world, we see that if someone speaks German, it is far easier to convince him of a deal with someone who’s a native German speaker.

If you go down the correct route, you will be understood. Let’s look at how we can implement it.?

1.?????Reactive people - If you’re dealing with a person who is quick at reacting to situations, using words like ‘this will help you understand’ or ‘let’s think about it would help them calm down and listen to what you’re saying.?

2.?????Proactive people - If you’re with someone eager to do things and grab opportunities, using words like ‘Why wait, let’s do it or ‘I have another brilliant idea, let’s look at it would give them a sense of comfort and belongingness.

Whatever our ultimate agenda would be, while speaking we need to be mindful of the emotional triggers. Some people, for example, have had a very rough past. Speaking to them about bullying or sibling rivalry may bring in some bad memories and push them mentally towards either reacting or blocking our ideas.?Being an active listener, thus, is the best skill to acquire if one aspires to be a good influencer. Listen carefully to discover the triggers and avoid those to have a smooth conversation.

Asking questions like ‘what is important to you?’ And ‘what can I do to help you meet your needs or make things better?’

Helps in bringing emotions to the surface. If people can talk about their hidden desires or needs, connecting with them on an emotional level becomes a lot easier.?

As the famous saying goes, ‘People are not logical, they are psychological’, correcting language and speaking in a way that is appealing, comprehensive and influencing can help you counter the biggest hindrances like employee retention, customer relationship, breaking relationships, and much more.?

Pankaj Gupta

Executive Director -?BNI Deira, Dubai, UAE

Executive Director - Corporate?Connections, Dubai, UAE?