Words and its Inclusiveness

"When we live in a world that is very unjust you have to be a dissident." Quote from Nawal El Saadawi. Passed away on March 21st 2021, aged 89. She was a feminist, secularist, prolific author, physician and activist for all of her adult life.

Ever felt put off because of what someone said to you or commented in your presence? Ever had a feeling that you did not belong because of how the conversations were framed and articulated in your presence? Did you ever wonder why are people behaving in such a manner towards you? Did you ever link it to what you said or what someone else said? Ever speculated why people ended their conversation abruptly the moment you entered the conversation?

You want to know my take, it is to do with the words, said. I know experts in the field of psychiatry, psychology and even management can put to rest why this occurs by sharing in depth research and concrete evidence. Yet, somehow I feel nothing is happening to catalyst the change expected despite all the research and talk. Things remain the same. Why?

The way I see it, the effect, impact and emotive force that is happening to oneself is because of the limitations when articulating one's thoughts, views and concerns. The lack of unity in my mind has a lot to do with the words spoken.

I strongly believe if we use different words and string them together in a polish and refined manner there will be more of us united and agreeing to disagree with a level of maturity.

Words used can create an atmosphere of non-inclusiveness. I am sure of that. I know that beyond words, silence and body language also amounts to how people will react and feel. Despite that, people do react to what was said more than what was communicated using body language. After all, did you ever hear someone relate what someone said based on their body language? Did someone ever go to court because of how they communicated using their body language?

We can't take the wrong way. The person who has to endure a non-inclusive environment just because of the words conveyed will feel left out especially if the words conveyed send an emotive feeling of being unwelcome, distant, disconnected, angry, rage, enmity, violence or hatred. We have to raise the level of motivation, joyfulness, elation and happiness using the right words.

During the pandemic, I realized how words articulated can either draw the participant to the discussion or push them away completely. During zoom sessions certain speakers can inspire their audience just on their chosen words spoken. On the other hand, there are speakers who enjoy the sound of their own words, thereby going on a perpetual discourse in monologue.

My good friend Dr. Ruby Brown who authored the book Professional Hurt: The Untold Stories, conveys her insights and views in a more succinct manner. She says it is the limitations in vocabulary, grammar and diction that make the outcome to what is spoken to be inclusive. She continues to say that she thinks it has a lot to do with the issue of inappropriately used words that lacked contextual relevance that fail to convey a well-meaning intention towards others. 

Dr. Ruby shared with me that many times she has had conversations with individuals who are very versed in the “language”, articulating well (orally and in writing), yet artfully using their words to hurt others or convey their self- imposed superiority. She support this view by sharing a book that captures some essence of what my article is all about (see below).

When I refer to using the right words to bring people together, I am referring to all languages and how it is used among community, within business, in the media, while having a political debate or when watching a sports game or listening to music over the radio.

Just knowing what words to use can bring a person not to feel bad about themselves but actually to take themselves more seriously. For example, if a supervisor was advising their staff, should they say "Your performance at work was not up to mark" or should they say "I wish to see your achievement make a better impression" - just the choice of words can make the recipient of the words said move from being defensive to being objective. To use the right words requires one needs to read, build their vocabulary and improve their linguistics skills. Coaching, mentoring and training are key and it has to start when one is at school.

Ideally, I want to see all professions go through language classes even before they complete their course as it can make the difference between mental health issues or joyfulness. Religious leaders, Politicians, Corporate figures, People of Influence, Doctors, Psychiatrist, Police are just some of the professions that need to go for such a course.

The recent interview between Oprah and Meghan & Harry had clearly raised a few eyebrows and brought much concern to the Royal Palace. All because of the words used. It was Meghan's words that have been quoted and analyzed again and again.

To make my point in visual form, watch this video.

I want to end this article with you. Next time you have a chance, listen to this song, "Words" by the Bee Gees. Below is an excerpt of the chorus.

"Talk in everlasting words, And dedicate them all to me

And I will give you all my life, I'm here if you should call to me

You think that I don't even mean, A single word I say

It's only words and words are all I have, To take your heart away"

The author would like to thank Dr Ruby Brown for her valuable insights.

?Dr. Sudeep Mohandas is the author of his latest book Nonprofit Management: Connecting the Dots. He can be reached at sudeep.mohandas@gmail.com