WORDS

It is my philosophy that the ability to adapt and become successful in any environment completely relies on the ability to find comfort in uncomfortable situations. Not only because it is a rare skill set, but because it truly separates those with leadership qualities and those without them.

 I originally saw this through athletics growing up and it has continued to prove true today. While training for the NFL, a continued theme from my agency, trusted mentors and family was controlling what you can control, aka effort. But controlling your effort is not just applying your optimal output, it is much more than that. Effort is also shown when you are out of your comfort zone. It is how you respond and what you respond with when adversity hits and that ceiling is placed above your head.

 To simplify this, take a moment and think of the human body and its ability for muscle growth. It is not until a muscle group is put through a strenuous and uncomfortable activity, repeatedly (such as working out), that it is able to grow. The act of creating that consistent and continual discomfort/pressure, creates an environment conducive for muscle growth. This concept directly translates to the brain and with the acquisition of this skill set, doors will continually open for new opportunities. Hence, making it a desirable skill set. So for those that this does not come naturally to, the question becomes 'can it be learned?' I passionately believe so.

 Over time, I have come to the conclusion that humans can be compared to technology quite simply. Each of us is born with a unique brain, our "hardware". We are born with unique biological chemical make ups, "our operating systems". In addition to that, we are born into different environments with different experiences, our "processed data". All of these shape our decision making, life choices, and ability to learn. With this, you can conclude some individuals may be able to grasp/ learn concepts more easily than others due to their hardware and OS. The important thing to note is, should you accept this theory as fact, you then imply people cannot truly change. Instead, to grow or 'change' you are simply downloading or upgrading software that is compatible to your HW and OS. This helps while attempting to acquire new skill sets or continuing to educate ourselves as we age, but the end result differs from person to person due to their unique environment. I would compare this to playing a game on an Android device and then playing that game on an iOS device- same game, but there are differences in how each are installed and differences in the code- custom tailored for each OS.

 This is good news, this shows that though we may not be 'set up' for skill sets, we can certainly learn them. And when it comes to learning a skill set like thriving in uncomfortable positions, the first thing you must do is delete some of the software you currently have in place. As in, you must continually alter your perception of what others intend with their words and actions. In that typically, when we hear something, we process it based on the context surrounding it, our personal knowledge/history, and that of what we believe the other knows. From there we form a response and react. And while this approach takes in multiple factors during the information processing time, it narrows options of response into one reaction- which is inevitably, our perception. And if our perception is negative, this could create an uncomfortable situation.

 Trying to take words for what they are, instead of applying data, experiences, or your impression of intent, is quite difficult and may seem counter-intuitive; but with this you undoubtedly become a better listener. On top of that you will also appear more confident in group settings. I am not implying to place no value on words, but instead, to think of words like numbers, and place 'absolute value' to the context and then decide if that value attributes to something positive or negative. Words can be extremely powerful or meaningless depending on the factors around them which is why it is essential, in order to control the outcome of a conversation or comfort of a situation, you must truly process them initially for what they are, before attributing the absolute value.

 I often say, 'you can have anything you want in this world if you put the right words in the right order'. Each of these as its own individual concept, but also, and more importantly- the resulting limitless power created when the two are combined.

Though this sounds simple, it is very complex. How many times have you wanted something and failed, later to think "what if I had phrased it this way?" or "I wish I had known that information beforehand". Quite often, it is the order of words, words chosen, or knowledge you did not have, that results in failure. Part of getting all three right is to learn comfort and thrive in those uncomfortable situations. This results in educated, well-articulated responses.

Learning to assess situations with logic instead of emotion is also a great way to become more comfortable in uncomfortable situations. Emotions corrupt clarity and often spark triggers that can be negative or enhanced versions of what you actually want to portray. This can lead to outbursts, interrupting and showing total discomfort and immaturity.

 And remember, those who can't say things right, often say them loud.