A Word About Rejection

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If you have not heard, there is something called the White Collar Recession in the executive and management job market. Thousands of executives and managers are scrambling to find work when there are more applicants than available positions. That adds up to a lot of rejection—morale- and soul-crushing rejection.

One person gets the job, and the other three or four finalists hopefully get a telephone call with the bad news. Great organizations always call.? The also-rans, the pretenders, will send you a nice canned email or, worse, nothing at all - just the sound of crickets on a moonless night.

Rejection sucks. It is one of the most debilitating of emotions.? It will happen often in your career, so learning how to react and cope is a good idea. Remember, every rejection is a step closer to the right opportunity.

“What could I have done better?” This is one of the most commonly asked and frequently ignored questions in a job search. You are left to your own devices. That can be a good thing.

First, let’s think about the explanation of why you were not selected that you did not receive. As someone who spent 27 years in the executive search business, I quickly learned that if you did not get a firm commitment from the hiring manager or the chief of human resources that the rejected applicants would be called, do it yourself.? The problem is that when delivering the bad news, it is difficult to explain precisely why the other applicant was selected, and you were not.? The truth is that the difference between applicants is, for the most part, minimal —all are qualified. They have the required expertise and experience. Invariably, they all have impressive records of accomplishment. So why did candidate “B” get picked over applicants “A” or “C”? ? Typically, it was one or two relatively small factors — no major flubs.? In one case, I remember the employer saying that candidate “C” impressed the interview teams with their desire to work for the company.? “This job excites me, and I want this position”? It's not too fancy, just direct and to the point. They asked for the job, which rarely happens in executive job interviews.

Second, they did a better job of fostering trust and likeability. Employers have repeatedly told me they hired the qualified applicant they liked and trusted the most. Using compelling stories to illustrate success or their pre- and post-interview interactions with the team can cement that feeling.

It is usually the small things.? I have seen only one or two major meltdowns in the thousands of interviews I have conducted and observed. The most noticeable: when asked to say something about himself to the board, he droned on for more than 18 minutes, covering the ins and outs of his resume.? He lost everyone at the five-minute mark. The board was clearly frustrated. I told him he could not afford to make that mistake the next day with the doctors, so he added 10 minutes to his “War and Peace” life story. ? He was an excellent applicant who ticked almost every box on the must-have evaluation sheet but was quickly eliminated because of his interview performance.

In a job search, like a championship tennis match, the competition will be intense, and the margin for victory tiny — usually two or three points here or there.?

That is why it is so important to have a coach who can help you replay the “game film” in your mind to isolate where a bit more mental toughness or self-awareness will make a difference.

+PLUS: Finding a Job Is Your New Full-Time Job

Our Lunch and Learn presentation at 11:30 a.m. CT on Tuesday will focus on attitude and ownership in a job search.

Some job seekers believe that finding a job is someone else's job. In this live-streaming coaching session, we explore that myth and provide a go-to-market checklist for managers and executives trapped in this white-collar recession. ?

Frequently, it is the littlest of things that will make the difference between success and failure in a job interview. This “checklist” will help you develop the mental and emotional strength and self-awareness to turn the corner in your career.

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