The Word "Family" Does Not Belong in a Corporate Setting!

The phrase "we are like family here" is equally as overused and distrusted, as the other buzzwords corporations use (think "diversity and inclusion," etc.). However, for many of us it has been proven that no company really or truly cares about their people beyond making money off of their work. I'd like to offer a different observation, as my experience probably differs from others.

I grew up without a caring family, really. So that means I don't have a concept of the word, besides the family I've built by choosing people into my life that were like I thought family should be. I felt this is is important to mention here.

When I think of "family" I absolutely think foremost of people who care about me, understand me and have my best interest in mind. It is absolutely true that I have not seen a whole lot of that in corporate America. However, I do believe that what is really missing is not so much a sense of family, but instead certain qualities that are supposedly apparent in a family: compassion, empathy, care and having someone else's best interest in mind. These qualities are definitely not what comes to mind when I think of corporate environments.

Time and time again companies have invested in experts and tests like Insight Discovery, DISC, Hogan Personality Inventory, Enneagram, etc. And time and time again they have ignored the outcomes and suggestions from the consultants they hired to administer the tests.

I remember one example, where the consultants specifically told management to have the majority of their management staff from the "green" category, namely the group of empathic, high EQ and caring group. However, the reality was that over 90%!!! of the entire management staff was in the "red" group, which is dominant, driven by results, brief and uninterested in the details, or often people.

When a company states that they are like family, but the words come from people who clearly do not behave in "loving" ways, people start associating the word as bad in a company context, instead of considering the source and really doing their research on who actually runs things in any place.

As a neurodiverse woman it has never been easy for me to navigate the waters of hardcore corporate mentality. Being hypersensitive, for one, made most corporate environments seem brutal, dishonest and soul-crushing. In addition, I have always felt that there was no seat at any table for me. Being stamped as "having too much empathy," which made me neurotic in one manager's opinion, I never felt cared for, but isolated, alone and "wrong."

In order to survive I had to follow certain rules. These included not working for companies over a certain size, as well as really listening to what people said in an interview, what their body language and facial expressions were and then following my instincts instead of overwriting them. It took me almost three decades.

In closing I'd like to share one example I carry in my heart from one of the first all-hands meetings I've attended in my company. We are always asked to anonymously vote on how we feel. The scale goes from "sunny," which means amazing, to "thunder," as in bad. One person had chosen "thunder" and added a note that work is fine but that they were experiencing difficulties in their personal life. Not only was this read out loud, but our two CEOs immediately told the entire staff that anybody who needs help, has a hard time or is experiencing difficulties is always welcome in their office, or HR's office, or management. They said that they will always have an open ear and would be willing to find help or a solution for whatever problem a person may have. They meant it, I know from experience. They have never used "family" in their job descriptions, but I ask you if this isn't a little like family?