A Word of Advice

Recently, a friend called me to ask for some advice.? She was expecting her first child in a few months, and had just gotten a new job opportunity.? She wondered, based on my experience, whether I thought this was the right time for her to take on the new role.

The truth was, if I were in her shoes, I would not take that particular job.? Though I tried to stay neutral and not say that outright, I did point out my concerns and a few red flags in my response.??

However, she responded with heightened enthusiasm to accept the job.? She summarized and reframed what she had heard me say, and it was all encouragement.? That’s when it became clear to me that even before she reached out to me, she had already decided to take the job.??

So many of us reach out to friends, advisors, mentors and family for advice when we have to make tough decisions.? But each person speaks from their own experience, influenced by their own priorities, fears, biases and interests.? When we get advice that does not resonate with us, we keep searching until finally someone tells us what we already know.??

When my friend reached out to me, it wasn’t for advice at all, but for a way to validate and find confidence in the decision she had already made.? When I realized this, I dropped my agenda and encouraged her to lean into her intuition. Her conviction far outweighed my opinion.?

When in doubt, look in, not out.?

Warm Regards,

Divya