Woooh! Well, that was emotional ...

So, this morning I took our remarkable girls (7 & 8 years old) back, in (slightly outgrown) uniforms, to commence face to face school learning with all of their classmates.

Many of you know, my husband is in emergency services in Central London and we have been grateful and privileged that our girls have the right to attend school under the key worker scheme.

During the first lockdown, I was (devastatingly) furloughed for a period of 8 months, and to find my purpose I chose to take homeschooling 'extremely' seriously; many of you will have seen our homeschooling desk set up, plus each Sunday morning I would clutch my coffee and knuckle down to preparing each of our girls daily timetables, resources and links to endeavour to know what we were doing, when we were doing it, how we were doing it (why were we doing it?!) and to prevent the inevitable meltdowns from the girls, and more likely ... me! It was time-consuming and baffling, to say the least. I must also commend and credit the highest praise to my co-worker Miss 'Amazon Alexa' who was regularly on hand with reminders, and infinite assistance to aid this rusty 48 year old get a grasp on primary education. I will say, that Miss 'Alexa' did receive a wonderful end of term gift in thanks ... an upgraded companion!

This last homeschooling period, I was ecstatically back from furlough and raring to go in my new and exciting role. I have predominantly spent my time in HR, People and Talent roles throughout my career and this role is proving to be critical in these new uncertain and ever-changing times; I am leading HR Culture & Engagement, Europe, within our business. I am blessed to work for an incredible employer who's leaders are empathetic and passionate in supporting the wellbeing of all employees, even more so now. So, the time had come to hold my hands up and say that my husband is looking after others, I am looking after the wellbeing of others and I need to call on the right to accept the keyworker school scheme. Consequently, our girls attended face to face school learning throughout this homeschooling period; we appreciate that we are privileged and we are unquestionably grateful. It was tricky for them to adapt to the new constraints and modified methods now when attending the school in person, still presumably a sense of gratitude that Mrs Mummy and her teaching Assistant Miss Alexa needed to be furloughed. It was school, but not as they knew it. They longed for an official and full return.

Here in the UK, it was time ..... Today, Monday 8th March 2021, was the day that had been vigorously circled (you know the ones that put so much pressure on the pages that Monday is dented for weeks) on most parents calendars as 'ReturnToSchool'. Most children, and I think it's safe to say pretty much all parents were counting down the days and greatly looking forward to a taste of (near) normality that was longed for.

Walking the girls to school this morning was just wonderful; seeing all those children (squeezed into) uniforms, whizzing about on scooters and listening to that infectious (am I allowed to say infectious right now?) laughter ... and (zoom) waving to real people. Although we were distanced, and mostly masked, the eyes shone with joy, or maybe relief. Who knows?

We took our place in the socially distanced 'X' marked queue spot and made our way forward, watching kids hug their parents and skip through the gates toward their teachers willingly waiting in each class doorway. I had goosebumps and confused emotions. What a sight this was; huge bright hand-made banners across the entrance and a big shiny robot on wheels, created by the keyworker kids, awaiting the arrivals.

My eldest hurried in without a care before I could even cuddle her properly, and I cried out after her our (previously) standard morning farewell:

"Be Kind. Be Happy. I love you!"

My youngest squeezed me so hard, and snuck a kiss from under my mask, and waltzed off looking over her shoulder with uncertainty. She was ok, I was ok (well, I wasn't really, but I threw her that look with a double-daft thumbs up to show her I was 'great'), her teacher was beaming at her class door eager to welcome her and her classmates.

I will own the fact that I did shed a tear on the slow walk home and it felt fairly crushing. Will they be ok? Will they settle back? Will they gel with their friends in the same way? Did I remember to put a frube in their lunch boxes...? (other yoghurty lunch box snacks are available!).

After the 'leaky eyes', came the gush of guilt; did I used my time with them well enough? Why did I lose it sometimes over the smallest, silliest things? Why didn't I make lockdown more fun and more exciting? Why? Why? .... Well probably because I try to strive for perfection when it comes to looking after the ones I love .... and normality is hard enough now, so perfection is pretty impossible in this cyclone of a year we've been in and we've all done our best, and our best IS more than enough. I keep telling myself that, anyway.

Our children have all been through more in a year than we can comprehend. Such little people and such huge changes, and challenges. I do not know how I would have coped as a child in this situation (my head hurts when I try to think that far back). We are the grown-ups and we didn't quite know how to handle it all, right? They will have done phenomenally today and every day. If they can manage this past year then they can manage anything. I'm so proud of how well they have dealt with the whole, ongoing, unprecedented situation we have all been throw into.

I take my hat off to the parents who homeschooled AND held down a job; it shows that we are all capable of great things when we are put to the test. I have had many a conversation with a broad spectrum of parents with regards to the good days and the bad. I think we all concluded that as long as all of the household are washed, fed, watered and loved then a great job has been achieved and any learning on top of this was a bonus. My network of parents mainly have young children, like I do, and these children are resilient. I have sympathy for those who have older children, such as my awesome nephews, who faced big exams and/or university placements. Furthermore, I won't even begin to imagine how those who had babies in lockdown are feeling; a blessing or a curse, depending on who I have spoken to.

All in all, I think we can say that we are ALL outstanding human beings. We have all faced so many trials that have gone unnoticed or noticed. We have all been put to the test ... and guess what ... WE ALL PASSED! #Congratulations

Parting thought...

It's possibly a worry though to think that in c.20 years the world may be run by adults who were homeschooled by parents who may have drunk a little too much... I leave that one with you!