Won't You Be My Neighbor? Lessons Mr. Rogers Taught Us About Kindness and Community

In the Fall of 1962, Fred Rogers stepped into the homes of millions of Americans via television sets nation-wide. His children’s program, Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood, was embraced with adoration that would keep the show running for many years.

Every week, Fred Rogers himself starred as our gentle friend and neighbor, a kind man who once he had slipped into his sneakers and red cardigan, sat down to visit with us and teach us about community, kindness, and our changing world. His show made audiences everywhere feel safe and at ease, and Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood would run for 31 consecutive seasons.

Since its first airing, there has been no other show quite like it. No children’s program has so deftly tackled serious topics like divorce, civil rights, and even nuclear war.

Everyone you know -- friends, colleagues, parents — has probably been shaped in some way by Fred Rogers television visit. Even now in 2019, there are children who sit in front of their television sets, or perhaps their iPads, eager for their visits from Mr. Rogers, the grown-up who speaks to them like equals, is patient, soft-spoken, and still filled with a child-like wonder.

If you are reading this article it has probably been some time since you sat down and had a visit with Mr. Rogers. But the lessons he taught us are still as relevant today as they were when we were children ourselves.

Here at Village Creed, we were recently reflecting on the legacy of Fred Rogers and the importance of his show. So, we decided to round up a few of the lessons we learned from Rogers’ and share them with you. It’s our way of saying, “Thank you for being our neighbor.”

Lesson 1: Be Gentle / Speak Gently

Mr. Rogers is perhaps best characterized by his calm and quiet demeanor. He sings and speaks softly, something lacking in other children’s television programs. Science has shown that speaking softly has an immediate calming effect on your audience, be it friends, family, or kids.

In a world that is so full of stimuli and white noise, it’s a welcome reprieve to speak to someone who is not competing with that commotion. As an added bonus, people who speak softly are more likely to be heard, as we tend to tune out information that is communicated loudly.

Speak softly, and allow yourself and others the space to peacefully exist.

Lesson 2: Always Be Honest

Another pillar of Mr. Rogers character is his undying commitment to being honest with everyone around him, including children. His show is known for tackling topics other people believed might be too sensitive to discuss with children, such as nuclear war and race relations. But Mr. Rogers saw children as much more capable than that, and allowed them the opportunity to understand the reality we all live in.

His honesty goes much further than not keeping secrets. Mr. Rogers encourages us all to be honest to ourselves, and not put on airs. He famously once said, “One of the greatest gifts you can give anybody is the gift of your honest self. I also believe that kids can spot a phony a mile away.”

Lesson 3: A Minute Can Go A Long Way

One of the things that Fred Rogers always said about Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood was that it was not a television show but a television visit. He wanted to recreate the same emotions through his televised “visits” as you might get from a real-life neighbor knocking at your door.

It is not coincidence that he took his time removing his work blazer and putting on his famous cardigan, before removing his work shoes and settling into a chair to tie up his sneakers. These clothing cues let the you know that Mr. Rogers had put aside time to talk to with you. They signal the beginning of a visit in which there was ample time together to be had. And in doing so, he made us feel seen, heard, welcome, and loved.

Mr. Rogers also made sure to use the short time he had to make impactful moments. In 1969, only one year after Dr. Martin King Luther Jr. was assassinated, Mr. Rogers filmed a show in which he and Officer Clemmons, a black actor cast as the neighborhood police officer, soaked their feet in a shared kiddy pool on a hot day. Mr. Rogers famously said, “Sometimes a minute like this can really make a difference.”

While on the surface it seemed he was referencing to the dip in the pool and the hot weather, he was of course truly referencing the effects that kindness and inclusion can have on our world. Where in your life would a few extra minutes make a difference?

Lesson 4: The Importance of Routine

As an adult you have most likely heard of the importance of daily ritual. The most successful people claim to stick to their tried-and-true routines. But before the internet was hyper-saturated with morning routine options, Mr. Rogers was demonstrating the power of ritual to generations of children ever single week.

From the moment the visit began, he would come through his front door, singing his song ‘Won’t You Be My Neighbor?’. As he sang, he would remove his jacket, hang it in the closet, and button himself up in a cardigan. Then he would remove his work shoes, put on his sneakers, and feed the fish. He followed this ritual in every single episode for 33 years.

Fred Rogers knew that daily routines have positive effects on the brain and are integral to leading rewarding lives which allow us to take care of ourselves and others to the best of our ability. Routine fosters a sense of control and helps us adapt to life changes more effectively. It also helps to implement responsibility in young minds, creating healthy habits that will last a lifetime.

Lesson 5: Community is Unconditional

It’s hard to imagine someone with more sense of community than Fred Rogers. He spent his entire adult life encouraging inclusion and care of our fellow men, and he made sure his televised neighborhood was full of diversity.

We were constantly introduced to new friends, from Chef Brockett, to Jeff Erlanger, the boy who demonstrated how he uses his electric wheelchair, to the varied cast in the Kingdom of Make-believe. Everyone was important. Everyone belonged. Big and small, abled and disabled, Mr. Rogers cherished every member of his community, including us, and he made sure that we knew it.

Mr. Rogers was aware of the powerful effect a sense of community can have on a neighborhood, a town, and even an entire city. Caring for and helping one another cultivates feelings of appreciation, safety, and increases overall happiness. Rogers famously said, “We live in a world in which we need to share responsibility. It’s easy to say, ‘It’s not my child, not my community, not my world, not my problem.’ Then there are those who see the need and respond. I consider those people my heroes.”

What an amazing thought — we can all be heroes, just by showing up and being a little more like Fred Rogers, every day.