Wonder Woman Gets Sick

Abby like any other kid didn't like going to vacation care at school and I didn't blame her. This particular day was different as she raced out of bed to get me to care early. Why? She was going to a theme park. I was excited for her and selfishly I felt for once I was dropping her off to care where I didn't feel the "mother" (parent) guilt. Parent is in brackets here as I am a full time solo parent and mother therefore I feel I take on a few roles. I picked her up at the end of the day, notably she was exhausted however she said she had a surprise for me. She bought me a little wonder woman costume using her pocket money. At the time I thought is was lovely. She saw me as a wonder woman. Apparently she did as she said she saw how much I did with work, launching stuff, publishing books, housework, cooking, taking care of her, leadership awards, taking care of friends and so forth....or yeah taking care of myself. Nearly forgot that....

I am sure if you are reading this you have your list of stuff and things that are truly important to you and take up your precious time. At the time I didn't really think much about the "wonder woman" tag as I thought it was charming. Until it wasn't. This "wonder woman" got sick - she received news that she had a massive non cancerous tumour plus several others inside of her and hence she was not an apparent super hero anymore (even though she never thought she was) and she was vulnerable and she is human. Deep breath.....

This article is not about the tumours or being unwell even though it shocked the living daylight out of me and I am sitting here in a very painful recovery. This article is about overcoming guilt, embracing the non-super hero and embracing your inner courage and kindness.

I want this article you are reading and thank you for reading this - to be about that being a mother and leader is a joy, it about hope, gratitude on the impact we have and to see your courage and greatness.

Why are we seen as superheroes and is it serving us?

Mothers are often considered to be superheroes or "superwomen" because of our ability to juggle multiple responsibilities and tasks while still providing love, care, and support to our families. Many of us work full-time jobs, manage households, raise children, and take care of our and their needs, all while facing societal pressures and expectations.

The term "superwoman" is often used to describe mothers who seem to be able to handle everything without breaking a sweat. However, this expectation can also be harmful because it sets unrealistic standards for mothers and can lead to burnout and exhaustion. I didn't think this would happen until it did.

It's important to recognise that we are human beings with our own needs and limitations. This is why we should be appreciated and supported for our hard work and dedication, and we should also be allowed to take breaks and ask for help when needed. However do we? I didn't and now my body gave me a massive sign to slow down and be kind. I never asked for help until now. I asked too late however not too late to learn from it and take off the wonder woman tag and be a human, mother, woman and someone who can do anything she puts her mind too however with self care and kindness. Finally I want my daughter to see that you don't have to be wonder woman to be great and achieve great things. I want her to see that being a kind, compassionate and authentic human who embraces her inner courage and greatness are her super powers.

Today I love to speak around the globe around motherhood, guilt, juggling, leadership and courage.

Motherhood and Courage

Courage is something that makes up every fibre of my being as a woman, mother, leader and CEO. These are the roles I play and many of us have different roles which all take courage. They are roles which do not define me and now today when I stuff up as a mother, CEO or woman, I know I am only human and it is totally okay. I know what defines me and who I am.

I love Maya Angelou and her work on courage....

"One isn’t born with courage. One develops it.?And you develop it by doing small, courageous things, in the same way that one wouldn’t set out to pick up 100 pound bag of rice. If that was one’s aim, the person would be advised to pick up a five pound bag, and then a ten pound, and then a 20 pound, and so forth, until one builds up enough muscle to actually pick up 100 pounds. And that’s the same way with courage.?You develop courage by doing courageous things, small things, but things that cost you some exertion – mental and, I suppose, spiritual exertion."

"I am convinced that courage is the most important of all the virtues. Because without courage, you cannot practice any other virtue consistently.

You can be kind for a while; you can be generous for a while; you can be just for a while, or merciful for a while, even loving for a while. But it is only with courage that you can be persistently and insistently kind and generous and fair."

Motherhood does require a great deal of courage and I could list the many aspects of courage such as taking on new responsibilities, making difficult decisions, and facing challenges that come with raising children and juggling demands of this and also managing a career. It takes so much more courage than I and we could ever imagine.

When I reflect back on my acts of courage , I think about where courage played a role in motherhood:

1. Giving birth: The act of giving birth requires immense courage, both physically and emotionally. Mothers endure pain and uncertainty during labour and delivery. I did big time!
2. Making tough decisions: Mothers often face difficult decisions such as choosing the best schools for their children, deciding when to discipline, or making tough life decisions. These decisions require courage and conviction.
3. Advocating for their children: Mothers must often advocate for their children, whether it's at school, in the healthcare system, or with other caregivers. This can require courage and persistence.
4. Being vulnerable: Motherhood can be a vulnerable experience as mothers must often navigate their own fears and insecurities while providing a safe and nurturing environment for their children.
5. Facing challenges: Mothers must face challenges such as illness, financial stress, or family conflict while providing for their children's needs. This requires resilience and courage. When my darling daughter struggled as a teenager for several years, I had to call into my inner courage more than I could ever have imagined.
6. Modelling courage for their children: Mothers play a critical role in teaching their children about courage and resilience. By modelling these qualities themselves, mothers can inspire their children to be brave and resilient in the face of challenges. This is why leadership is critical in the role as a mother.

And there are so many more I could list. How about you?

See your courage! I am in awe of you - mothers and their courage. Imagine if we can let the courage we have above rippled into other aspects of our lives and to embrace our true selves. Embrace your courage by embracing your inner heart and kindness.

Motherhood does requires a great deal of courage. By being courageous and resilient, mothers can provide their children with the best possible foundation for success in life.

This is why we work with 100's of women in our online and group program Outstanding Women in Leadership Program

Freakin Guilt

I freakin dislike (was going to use the word hate however don't like the word "hate" like I don't like the words busy, just, should, try etc...I think I have some word issues!) Managing guilt as a mother is challenging and debilitating, however it's important to remember that all mothers experience feelings of guilt at some point. Have you? Please comment below if you have and what you did about it. I wish I could go back in time and put the guilt in a box and put a pretty red ribbon around it and give it back to the emotions wheel and say no thank you for this gift as it does not serve me. It doesn't serve anyone. However it is an emotion and it is important to recognise and validate it.

Here are some awesome tips on how to manage guilt as a mother:

1.????Practice self-compassion: It's important to be kind and compassionate to yourself. Acknowledge that you are doing the best you can and that you are only human. I know I keep saying this - hopefully it is sinking in.

2.????Prioritise self-care: Take care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This could include getting enough sleep, eating healthy food, exercising regularly, and taking breaks when you need them. Simple right? However please please please set up routines and habits to take care of yourself.

3.????Set realistic expectations: Don't put too much pressure on yourself to be the perfect mother as it doesn't exist. Remember that there is no such thing as a perfect parent, and it's okay to make mistakes.

4.????Be present with your children: Make the most of the time you have with your children by being present and engaged. Quality time with your children is more important than the quantity of time spent with them.

5.????Practice positive parenting: Focus on positive reinforcement and building a strong relationship with your children. This will help you feel more confident as a mother and reduce feelings of guilt.

6.????Seek support: Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Reach out to family, friends, or a professional for support and guidance. Once I did this when Abby was struggling and I was so lost - it made a huge difference to my life.

Remember that guilt is a natural part of motherhood, but it doesn't have to control your life. By practicing self-compassion, setting realistic expectations, prioritising self-care, you can manage your feelings of guilt and be the best mother and leader you can be.

Finally Juggling (not like a Clown)....

Juggling work, life and motherhood can be a MASSIVE challenge, however I have it's possible to find a balance that works for you (most of the time...).

Here are some tips on how to juggle work and motherhood:

1. Plan ahead: Take some time to plan your day or week in advance. This will help you prioritise tasks and make the most of your time. I tend to do this on a Sunday.
2. Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries between work and home life. This could mean turning off your work phone or email during family time, or asking your employer for flexible work hours. Boundaries are so important and I say no a lot more these days and I am proud I have the courage to say no with conviction.
3. Delegate tasks: Don't be afraid to delegate tasks to others, whether it's a family member, friend, or hired help. This can help reduce your workload and give you more time for both work and motherhood. We don't need to do everything and please have a partner who helps equally around the home and with the children.
4. Take breaks: It's important to take breaks throughout the day to recharge and refocus. This could be a quick walk around the block, a yoga class, or even just a few minutes to meditate or read a book. I find walking up a little earlier in the morning and having me time to visualise, meditate, practice some meditations and if I have time go for a walk and listen to a book are fantastic ways to set up my day.
5. Communicate with your employer: Keep your employer informed about your needs as a mother. If you need time off for a family emergency or a child's school event, communicate this in advance and work together to find a solution that works for both of you.
6. Practice self-care and acceptance: Taking care of yourself is important for both your physical and mental health. Make time for exercise, healthy eating, and hobbies that bring you joy.

Remember, every mother's situation is different, and it's important to find a routine that works for you and your family. With some planning, organisation, and self-care, it's possible to juggle work and motherhood successfully.

Change the frame when it comes to juggling - if you see juggling as aspects and things that make up your day which bring you joy and challenges, then you are living and leading.

Finally the tumour taught me a great lesson as I always want to learn and see the lesson in everything. I knew I was doing too much, working too hard, wanting to achieve so much and wanting to make a difference too big and it affected my health more than I expected. I am about to relook at my life, my work and my priorities. Please don't wait until your body tries to tell you something to take care of yourself.

Ultimately the only thing that matters to me is my role as a mother and human. That I am bringing up a daughter who is kind, honest, courageous and compassion. That I am a human being who lives authentically and is using her voice and actions to make a difference to the world and serve others.

I don't want nor need the wonder woman cape anymore....

How about you?

Please take care of yourself and if I/we can help, please reach out anytime.

By?Sonia McDonald ?– CEO Of?LeadershipHQ ?And?Outstanding Leadership Awards , Leadership Coach,?Global Keynote Speaker, ?Entrepreneur, CEO, Mum And?Award Winning Author .

Sonia is passionate about her voice. When Sonia speaks, everyone in the room feels like she is having a conversation with them as her audience will feel as if they are the only one in the room. She speaks from the heart. She is brave. She wants everyone to be brave. She is an impactful and motivational leadership expert and speaker that creates a life-changing experience. People call Sonia sassy, inspirational, real and a speaker who leaves a lasting impression. Her high-energy, authenticity and humour combined with actionable and practical advice, empowers her audience and provides them with great drive and confidence to take courageous actions and inspire great leadership in all aspects of their lives.

Sonia also is founder of LeadershipHQ and McDonald Inc. and is also a renowned and award-winning author, having written several of her own books, Leadership Attitude, Just Rock It! and First Comes Courage as well as being a regular contributor in The Australian, HRD Magazine, Smart Healthy Women and Women’s Business Media. She was named as one of the Top 250 Influential Women in the world as well as Top 100 Australian Entrepreneurs by Richtopia.

Through her leadership advisory and coaching work at LeadershipHQ, and founding the Outstanding Leadership Awards, Sonia is internationally recognised as an expert in leadership and culture, organisational development, neuroscience, kindness, and courage.

Sonia is also a full-time single parent and has a passion for women in business and teenage mental health. Sonia travels and speaks across Australia and Globe, and she is on a mission to building a world of great leaders and leadership.

About LeadershipHQ

Outstanding Leadership Begins With You (With Our Help)

We are a leadership development and performance organisation. We encourage leaders to realise their full potential, discover their calling, and make a real difference in the world.?With us, you’ll find a truly invested team that offers genuine care and support while telling it like it is. We are deeply committed to the success of our clients.?You won’t have to deal with the egos of large consulting firms – your success and progression are everything to us. In our work, everyone feels safe and inspired.

We focus on leadership development and encourage leaders to reach their full potential, find their calling and make a positive difference in the world.We genuinely invest in your learning, provide authenticity and tell it like it is. We are deeply committed to our client’s success.

We don’t have the egos of large consulting firms, and your success and significance to us are everything. Everyone feels safe and inspired at work.

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