Women's Murder by Close Partners (Boyfriend Killing Girlfriend) - Examining the Disturbing Reality

Immaterial of Social Class, Educational achievement, Professional success, Elite Job, and Wealth accumulation, the “Women” is not able to save themselves from “dying” at the hands of their “Men” partners.

A “Boyfriend” killing “Girlfriend” is a widespread daily occurrence. (Although, I would address the “Male” perpetrator as “Murderer” cum “Rapist” and other “Women” as “Victim”).

Let us understand what is happening here and how we may address this problem at School & University levels.

1.??Gender is not an inherent characteristic but a social construct constantly enacted and reinforced through repetitive actions and cultural norms, everything with respect to Gender is shaped by societal norms and expectations. Our societal norms create the monster “Men”.

2.??Gendered expectations and social structures reinforce “Male” dominance and entitlement.

3.??Our textbooks, storybooks, scriptures, curriculum, discourses, family behaviour, societal behaviour teaches (and train) us to objectify and devaluing of women. Thus “Women” is not seen as anything beyond “property”, and this progresses us towards “possessing their bodies” (Women’s body).

4.??The harmful stereotyped behaviour that a “Women” (Girlfriend) is supposed to (expected to) constantly “dramatize” in front of their “Boyfriend” and in front of others, with respect to their relationship with their “Boyfriend” constantly reinforces the superior “power” that “Boyfriend” holds over “Girlfriend”.

5.??Quite often we go on to say that “life is precarious” but let us see that for a “women” life becomes more precarious among the “Males” she has proximity to.

6.??Do all “Girlfriends” want to ‘behave’ as per societal expectations (Boyfriend’s expectations) and conform to prescribed gender roles in their interactions? – No. They think that asserting equality and practicing an egalitarian society would be too difficult for them to be something to live with. ?They seek comfort within a given hierarchical patriarchal structure that enslaves them, without knowing that their only comfort could come from a “democratic family”, a “democratic society”.

7.??Agency – When a “Women” (Girlfriend) enters into any kind of intimate or sexual relationship with “Men” (Boyfriend), it is expected by “Men” (Boyfriend) that “Women” (Girlfriend) has lost their “agency” over their “body”, “thoughts” and “actions”. It is necessary that our curriculum, our school & university structure should talk about “agency” of “women” more often.

What schools and universities could do? –

1.?Highlight the role of power dynamics in gender norms and tell them that it is their constitutional obligation and duty to come out from the mindset of having “power” over “women’s bodies”.

2.??It is also necessary to assert that India practices “equality” and it is our constitutional obligation to practice within Schools, Universities and Families.

3.??It is necessary for “Boyfriends” to develop healthier attitudes and behaviours towards their relationships with “Girls” (even be it “Girlfriends” or “Sex Partner” or “Intimacy Partner”). If they do not practice “equality” they will not only destroy relationships but may also end up getting rusticated and start their journey to Jail instead of being productive citizens.

4.??Toxic masculinity - Schools and Universities should conduct workshops not only at the beginning of each session but make it a regular academic workshop routine that addresses and challenges “toxic masculinity”. People of all gender should be a part of such workshops so that “toxic masculinity” could be understood both by “Girlfriend” and “Boyfriend”.

5.??Warning Signals – Women should be trained to identify warning signals and the steps to save themselves, protect themselves and find exit.

6.??Family – Families should be trained to discuss such things openly, more often, with their “Sons & Daughters”.

P.S. I am into Curriculum Development, Teacher Training, and conducting Workshops. Reach me in case you have these requirements.