Women's History Month

This month marks the 39th annual Women’s History Month – which made me start asking myself the question: Have women actually made progress over the last 39 years?

I want to say yes, as there has of course been progress throughout history. But unfortunately, I think we still have a very long way to go.

One of the reasons I know this, is that there is not one day that goes by that I do not feel the need to say things like:

·        “I have been in business for 28 years. I have some idea what I am doing.”

·        “Yes, I do have experience in ____.”

·        “I prefer to not talk about how my hair looks or what I’m wearing.”

Have we moved the needle in my 28 years since become a female CEO? Yes. But often, it feels that the needle has moved backwards.

Despite the progress we’ve made as a society, the cadence of commentary on my worth – as a professional, as a mother, as a woman – hasn’t gone away.

I recently brought my car, a BMW, in for service, where I was asked what my husband does for a living. Newsflash: I do not have a husband.

When I bought my new condo, I was asked when my husband was going to see it. There was complete silence when I said I was not married. I could tell that the broker was in shock that a single woman, my age, would be buying this alone. Her shock was so apparent that my mother felt the need to jump in and explain that I’ve been the CEO of a business for decades – a justification which made the situation even more uncomfortable.

Just a month ago, I was asked to stop talking as much as I do, during a meeting. Meanwhile, my male counter parts were not given that same message. In that moment, I wanted to quit, but who would that help?

As a woman in business – and a woman in general – I am regularly underestimated, especially when it comes to my tenacity, and I know I’m not alone.

Take Marissa Mayer as a prime example. A pregnant, 37-year-old Mayer famously parlayed her success as one of the founding employees of Google into landing the top spot as the CEO of Yahoo! in 2012 – a dying tech enterprise. She inherited a nearly impossible task. As the first female CEO of Yahoo!, all eyes were on her, but Mayer always made a point to brush off any conversation about her gender. She wanted to be seen for what she was: A trailblazer in tech with 13 years of experience to prove it.

It wasn’t long before criticism surfaced about her management style, deeming her “work-obsessed” at the cost of her family life – and a hyper-critical micromanager, to boot. Suddenly, she was being punished for the strengths for which she was hired. Think about it: When was the last time you heard of a male CEO being punished in the public arena for his tough management style, or the amount of time he spends in the office instead of at home with the kids? There’s a common denominator at play here.

Women’s History Month is a great opportunity to celebrate the many achievements and milestones women have made throughout history, and drawing on stories of women – then and now –is so important.

Knowing how scared yet determined Rosa Parks was in 1955, listening to Greta Thornberg speak so confidently at such a young age and knowing how much more she’ll accomplish, and watching Amanda Gorman move the nation are all incredibly inspiring.

But I have my eyes on the future.

For starters, I hope that something as simple as buying a home as a single woman will no longer be an absurd concept. I hope that in business meetings, women no longer need to explain and justify their success, and that their appearances are not considered equally (if not, more) important to what they have to say. And I hope that women can say as much as they want, when they want, how they want.

Sheryl Sandberg’s “Lean In” movement is about speaking up, which is important, but it’ll take more than just leaning in to make true change. It’ll take showing up and making our successes known; it’ll take knowing what we deserve; it’ll take wanting more and demanding more. 

It has taken me 59 years to realize this: The question “Have we made progress?” is not in our job titles as women. It’s in our treatment.

I simply cannot bear the burden to speak up for myself against the micro-aggressions I face each and every day. It is frankly exhausting – and even more exhausting for women of color. We should not need to defend our success (or failure) every step of the way.

We will succeed only when it is commonplace to trust women implicitly – no questions asked.

I am proud of the fact that I run a successful business. I’m also proud to have raised three children and proud of the fact that I wear my emotions openly. Not as a woman, but as a human.