Women’s Day and the Women We Remember – But Do We Forget Our Maids?

Mostly we remember our mother. Some speak about wives, daughters, colleagues, friends, or a public figure.

?But I have never come across one set of women who possibly play one the most important roles in our lives, maybe even bigger than our mothers, especially when we have a family.?

Who are they? Think about the person who we easily leave our children with for hours, while we take early care to lock the drawers. Or who ensures we get our household or cooking done even when they are sick, or there are disturbances in the city? Or in case they stay with us – ones who are up before we are awake, and go to bed after we sleep.

?All these are for a paltry sum that barely covers the minimum wage, with no statutory benefits, no job security, and occasional one-sided blame when things go wrong. Yes, I am talking about our maids. Yes, they are an integral part of our lives – no middle-class home is more agitated than when the maid does not show up. Or no such household starts their relocation to a new place without asking for maids – even before they enquire about the schools.

?Unfortunately, the maids we employ are also some of the most disadvantaged people around us.

?I did a brief study about the specific challenges our maids face – from being the Immigrant/ Urban (and cross state) / Poor/ Woman/ Married (with kids) challenges in a city like Bengaluru. I have listed these challenges individually based on a limited sample of women who have worked with us as house helps (which most of them engage in) and also augmented by involvement in alleviating the challenges (which includes some who were not directly employed by us). The anonymized profiles of the women are appended at the end.

?Challenges being immigrant

1.?????? No local support ecosystem – family or administration.

2.?????? No benefits (like Bengal has its health card, which does not work in Karnataka). Or Shram or BPL card not available. Also, no local support to get them.

3.?????? Rented dwelling novel challenge – includes exploitation like high rent and usurping of deposits.

4.?????? No vote, hence no political equity. Rather often caught in political dynamics (like illegal immigration issues – increasingly true for underprivileged Bengali immigrants).

?Challenges being Urban (and cross border)

1.?????? Language – communication and cultural isolation

2.?????? Language challenges reduce opportunities, and at times make victims of exploitation

3.?????? School for children – often a break, or children left back home.

4.?????? High costs substantially offset higher income.

5.?????? Expectation of support from family back home (especially in healthcare).

?Challenges being poor

1.?????? Limited contingency sources, often dependent on employers.

2.?????? Inability to monetize skills even present – knowledge about opportunities, lack of references, ability to pursue.

?Challenges being woman

1.?????? Local mobility issues (cost addressed, but confidence still missing).

2.?????? Access to the low-skilled job market, which is mostly informal.

3.?????? Exploitation like non-payment of salary on trivial issues.

4.?????? Degrading practices like check at out gate (but not for male drivers), and apps like MyGate allow feedback only by the employers).

5.?????? In the case of a single young migrant, unsolicited attention from neighbors, and at times even harassment by prying males.

?Challenges being married (with kids)

1.?????? The husband often spends what he earns, leaving home to the lady.

2.?????? Many males wake up to the responsibilities of marriage only after having kids and are handled by complete abdication.

3.?????? Often abandoned (mostly informally, while maintaining a fa?ade of conjugal status).

?The challenges of Immigrant/ Urban (and cross state) / Poor/ Woman/ Married (with kids) are at the cross-section of all these challenges, and can’t be solved by just working on one of the dimensions. For example, earning women, in general, are considered more empowered to make decisions, but in the case of Urban Poor Immigrants, women are often used by the man in the house as an instrument for additional income, and often with a higher power as a result of higher cash flow. And all informal and formal channels are closed to the woman to seek any redressal.

?Also, disowning filial responsibilities often has a social counterweight, but that is absent in this case. Also, the children lack agencies like relatives or even school friends to seek a way out. The resultant frustration is often borne by the mother.

?The civic society, though often sensitive, is constrained in providing support:

1.?????? Language and cultural understanding

2.?????? The reluctance of the lady concerned to seek support, given the lack of any local support system

3.?????? Fear of getting entangled in domestic issues. Increasingly the “illegal immigration narrative” also

?Way forward

1.?????? Identity – ensuring all documents like Aadhar are in order. Issues like connecting Aadhar with an accessible phone number.

2.?????? Insurance – especially health, leveraging low-cost private offerings.

3.?????? Health camps with data confidentiality, and downstream low-cost treatment. Awareness about low-cost healthcare options. Free vaccination camps – especially for communicable diseases.

4.?????? Ensuring compliance with labor laws (an evolving space).

5.?????? Bridge schools for children – few have come up.

6.?????? Bringing sensitivity to Resident Welfare Associations about laws and equity. Same with app providers like MyGate, Apartment Adda, etc. to not institutionalize discrimination.

7.?????? NGOs working on addressing harassment, especially for political gains.

Let us think for a moment about these women – with a very cruel and unsupportive society, with hardly much understanding at home, with limited income and almost no savings, having been uprooted from their place of birth, the common occurrence of abusive husbands, and the expectations of the children who fall back on mother for fulfillment – how they serve us day after day, with a smile, with honesty, and dignity. Maybe starting this year, let us spend some time thinking, enquiring, and enabling some of these challenges for our critical support partners.

?Experiences of women whose experiences have been included in the study

Lady 1

Hindu. From Jharkhand. Grew up in SAIL city Bokaro. Married outside caste/ religion, disowned by family. Later conjugal dispute. Husband software engineer in the USA gives money only for the education of two sons. Have a house and car in Bengaluru, but work in homes for day-to-day expenses.

?Lady 2

Hindu. From Bengal. Their husband is dead and has two three kids. Two grew up with an elder brother-in-law, the eldest son dependent on his mother for a good life. Working as full-time help in Bengaluru to support the family.

?Lady 3

Hindu. From Bengal. Her husband also works. Had been weavers, but low income forced them to migrate. Works as a cook to supplement income, and in a way also to hold the family.

?Lady 4

Muslim. Migrant. The husband works but spends more on himself. She is working 14 hours a day to build a house someday. Husband often threatens to marry again.

?Lady 5

Hindu. Married with family. Came to Bengaluru to augment the family income while the husband stayed back with a nominal income.

?Lady 6

Hindu. Maharashtra. Augmentation of family income.

?Lady 7

Christian. Married. Her husband is alcoholic and hot-tempered. Casual labor, now physically incapable of working. Lady is completely responsible for three kids.

?Lady 8

Bengali. Married. Ill health, but forced to augment family income.

?Lady 9

Bengal. Unmarried. Orphan. Survival.

?Lady 10

Bengal. Married, augmentation but incapable of managing. Goes back immediately – not aware of future courses.

?Lady 11

Bengal. Married. The father was skilled and focused on transferring the same only to the son, which did not work out. Husband supportive, but socially awkward.

?Lady 12

Hindu. Bengali. Intrastate migrant. Unmarried, talented. Married off early.

?Lady 13

Hindu. Unmarried. Intrastate migrant. Young, unmarried. Stays with mother. Harassment by a local person addressed.

?Lady 14

Christian. Married but husband is with another woman. Complete family on her, no support from family.

?