Women’s day, mom’s day, Mayday, Mayday

It′s 6:30 AM and I enjoy the first few minutes of the day. That indescribable silence. And here we go: warming the water, preparing the milk, feeding my son, changing his diapers, taking off pajamas, putting on clothes and entertaining him with a book while you try to do it, put on some make-up, get in the car, leave him at kindergarten (although I realize I forgot his uniform), drive to the office, rush work, rush lunch, rush work again, pick him up, preparing dinner (thought about it previously while I drove here and there), and taking a quick shower, playing with him (alas, he destroys the router for the second time so there is no TV), go to bed exhausted and having insomnia again…

I miss those days when Gustavo used to be so tiny and quiet. He would cuddle in my chest and stay in the warmth, so peacefully. Those days seem distant, as I plan escaping to attend the Sunday morning yoga class that I use as an excuse to sneak in the Jacuzzi for a few minutes and perhaps make my own manicure in the gym bathroom. Judgment isn’t something that bothers me anymore – your judgment can meet in the same place where my calm days have gone.

Grandparents’ help would be bliss, if only the age for retirement in Portugal was not established at 67 years old. What’s the last resource for help? Finding a good, kid-loving, caring nanny. Money is tight; you can imagine the investment a new brand like INLU needs. But as soon as school starts, so start my child’s infections and viruses and we, the parents, don’t have any other option. But, well, the nanny also has her own frequent ailments and, when she starts missing, we have to find extra energy to compensate for that too while “leaning in” (Sheryl Sandberg’s expression is perfect! Know it on this Forbes’ article: https://goo.gl/85DR8v). With Gustavo at home I become a different person, changing diapers while I pick up phone calls and answer emails, giving him lunch while texting the designer, cuddle for sleep and having lunch with him on my lap.

Now, the question you are all asking: what the hell was I thinking? I notice I’m skinnier than before pregnancy and losing more hair than normal. I wonder several times if my choice of setting up a baby firm while having a baby boy was the best timing, but going backwards was never an option. If you are one of these people who had a supermom as a role model, your bar is high. You know that you can accumulate several jobs in your day-to-day life: psychologist, nurse, teacher, coach. And you realize there is no perfect moment for being a mum alone.

I know I can do this because of my own beautiful family legacy. My maternal grandparents taught me so much, including saving a lot, invest wisely and spend scarcely. They came from a little village called Areias, near the city of Tomar (Portugal). They were poor and I still remember today when I was told that they rarely had meat and immigrated to the big city with empty hands. So I was brought up with the feeling that I have to fight for what you want. No pity for yourself.

6:30 AM and the alarm clock starts beeping. It was 10:00 PM a second ago, I could swear. I start my routine in a bad mood but my son looks at me with this huge cute smile. And I take a deep breath. It’s going to be an excellent day after all, won’t it? :)