This Women's Day, it's time to talk about men

Last week, on social media, I made the point that many well-meaning flexibility policies remain wishful thinking. Employees are afraid of the potential unspoken consequences of using new work arrangements. I asked, what can we do to correct this?

Flexibility at work is an issue that matters to employees. I received no less than 130 thoughtful replies. From them, it is clear that the issue of workplace flexibility also has a considerable bearing on the topic of gender equality. Flexibility policies can contribute to women lagging in the lower ranks because men are principally the ones that do not take them. 

But time spent creating a well functioning and nurturing home environment is critically important too, and not just for a family. It's essential for a healthy society. A wide range of studies has found that fathers who take paid leave are more involved in an ongoing basis with their children. This is something I can confirm from my own -admittedly anecdotal- experience.

There are two dimensions to this: women's, and men's, role in the workplace and the traditional "second shift", men and women's changing role at home. The single most crucial support to my career has been my partner (and husband) who early on promised to share family and house duties on an equal basis with me. Sadly, this is still quite unusual. I have been lucky.

It is not because men don't want to. In a study sponsored by our Santander UK team, it was found that there is very little difference in attitude between men and women regarding how involved men should be in childcare. But it is in practice where the difference is vast.

Some of you pointed out that this problem is so intractable that companies should compel men to take leave if we are to make a difference. Research increasingly backs this notion. To be sure, there was contradictory tension in many of your responses. Some pointed out the need for flexible flexible-working policies: We have different needs and situations. We are not all in the same boat. But how do we square this circle where choice leads to women bearing most of the responsibilities at home and their careers suffering?

If we don't use compulsion, then what do we do? Some pointed out in your replies that this problem can be addressed through a combination of better middle management, including, improved performance measurement (objectives, evaluation, feedback, rewards), and leading by example (cutting out late or early meetings, managers taking full parental leave and taking advantage of flexible-working). It also requires changing our workplace culture. Importantly, these changes in the workplace must be led by men, as they are still mostly the ones in charge. And perhaps we need to mentor these middle managers better, regardless of their gender.

So this is not just a matter of fairness and wellbeing. It is good business too. In Alphas and Omegas, Victoria Yasinetskaya, also a Santander marketing manager, argues that in the workplace, feminine, and masculine traits, like elsewhere in life, complement each other. All being equal mixed teams outperform less diverse groups, also in terms of gender, research confirms.

And in her response, Carlota Ribeiro Ferreira elaborated: Flexibility attracts the best talent, leads to higher productivity and happiness and this to better results. It has a higher impact and is a more sustainable way to run a business. Her idea of "portfolio careers" (people who love to have more than one professional or leisure activities) and how to scale this personalized working culture is something that deserves a more in-depth look. It all adds up to being Simple, Personal and Fair, our aim of how to do things at Santander.

The current rise of artificial intelligence and machine learning is now throwing the unique nature and value of being human into sharper relief. These unique attributes of humans are what machines can't do well. "Soft skills", like creativity, speaking, listening, not just "hearing", real cooperation and care. 

In these changing times, International Women's Day is, amongst other things, a day to challenge stereotypes. For more fundamental progress, let's speak up for a society that also recognizes a more varied, holistic, and ultimately healthy role for men.