WOMEN FOR WOMEN- LET’S MAKE THIS WORK

Last month, as we celebrated International Woman’s Day on March 8, I had the opportunity to speak at & be part of various forums. Discussion around women breaking glass ceilings, women empowerment, role modelling, work life balance issues etc. are the usual topics that have been doing rounds.

From entry level to C-Suite, women are underrepresented in organisations, have lesser opportunities to advance than men, face more barriers to senior leadership like biases & stereotypes, experience an uneven playing field & fight biases related to balancing work & family, see a lack of senior or visibly successful female role models & not enough leaders sponsoring highly qualified women, the reason that hold women are many. This is what people keep repeating all the time. It’s like flogging a dead horse!

An interesting one, I was asked to speak on this year was “Women for Women- Hit or Miss”. As I was preparing for this talk, I went down memory lane to think of my role models & people who have supported me in my personal & professional life. I call them “Anchors”.

Everyone naturally recounts & talks about family & while that was true in my case too…, I also reflected on books, other people in my environment & “What Else?.

All of us encounter obstacles or face challenges in our lives. As the challenges become complex, quite naturally, we feel the need for motivation. While self-help and inspirational books are available aplenty, most of them sketch the journey of the who’s who or celebrities whose advice, though genuine, is difficult to follow for common people.

I have always pondered - why should we take inspiration from celebrities alone? Since it is human nature to share and learn from others, why not seek advice from ‘ordinary’ but experienced people around us, who can guide us effectively and practically to resolve our problems?”

Infact, it is with this thought that I have recently written an inspirational book titled, ‘Between U & Me’. We launched this book during the conference. The book portrays the real-life stories of the people around me, who have inspired me and made a positive difference to my life– from my educational to personal and professional life. The protagonists of this book , are so-called ‘ordinary’ people, but each is an achiever in his/her own right. In simple, lucid language, they have chronicled their life journeys, the circumstances and challenges they faced with tenacity to reach the pinnacles of success, for the benefit of the readers.

Again, the reason to share about the book, is that the thought whether my anchors were men or women, never crossed my mind all these years. Inspiration is what was uppermost, irrespective of which gender it came from.

I really thought hard about my various encounters & experiences with women professionals, pleasant & unpleasant both…but more so, delved deeper into the learnings from them.

During my career so far, I have had women as seniors, peers & subordinates, however never had a lady boss so far…however, I have been a lady boss for long. There’s so much I have learnt from each of these categories of women – “what to do”, “how to be” & most importantly, “what not to do” & “not to be”!

 Some great lessons from a very senior lady professional very early in my career –

1. Always put on “YOUR OXYGEN MASK”.
2. Make YOURSELF the NO.1 option in your life.
3. BELIEVING IN YOURSELF is mandatory.
4. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable.
5. Put your hand up & VOLUNTEER even if the task may seem hard.
6. Surround yourself with people who will STRECTH YOU.
7. Raise your son how you would want to be treated & raise your daughter like the strong boys!

These are great things to remember & practise as we work hard to find our way in the corporate maze. Aren’t they?

However, having observed her mannerisms & behaviour for a while, during my impressionable early career years, I engaged in an open discussion with her regarding morals & personal values. This was during the time when there was no awareness regarding POSH (Prevention of Sexual Harassment at Workplace) or no trace of the #MeTooMovement!

What she shared was shocking. “No one will stand for you in this corporate jungle – deploy all means that you have – don’t worry about morals, values. Nobody really cares. All is fair to get what you want!” I am sure you get the drift of what she was trying to convey. This has stayed with me very strongly as “what not to do” & “not to be”.

Doesn’t matter if no one cares, I surely do – about my values & what I stand for! There have been many occasions through my career all these years…this is one thing I have been firm on & proud of! No compromise…for whatever may be at stake!

I posed this question “Do you care?” ,  Are the means as important to you as the end ?”, to the audience during the conference I was addressing…and now to you, all those who are reading this article---again the question is gender agnostic.

I shared another instance with the participants about another strong lady in the network who introduced the concept of “What Else?” to me. It’s not always about being good at your job, following the rules, working hard etc. “What Else?” is about making an effort to learn & know more about the industry, business , stakeholders, external environment as well as about networking within & outside , understanding the unwritten rules in the organisation. It’s about the stretch efforts you make towards all these which are over & above your job needs. That’s how you stand out.

And in the case of women, it’s not about “looking smart”, it’s about “being smart” that makes you distinct. 

At this juncture, I threw the floor option for the audience to share their experiences – if they’ve had women mentors, bosses, how helpful they have been or otherwise. 

Participants shared various examples….however, most were unpleasant ones where they were either not supported or backed by women in positions of influence & authority. And reasons they mentioned were many- not to be seen as favouring other women due to gender (inspite of competence) or their own insecurity or even the thought that each one needs to struggle & find their path just like they had.  

This got me thinking again!!! It’s not the first time I am writing around a subject related to Women. My earlier articles, “Women- Agents of Change *” or even “Let’s not make Men out of Women**” are very topical & relevant to this one. 

Women in today’s times are breaking every conceivable barrier. Let’s change the paradigm – let’s root for & help other DESERVING & COMPETENT WOMEN, not because of the gender, but for their ability & resolve to make a difference.  

Let the tribe grow! Let’s pledge to sponsor other women who want to shine by sharing our light. So that years from now, when someone like me asks the question in a discussion like this, the audience is full of positive & pleasant experiences & we are able to visibly see the difference around us!

Reference – https://www.aparnasharma.in/articles.html

*https://www.businessmanager.in/women-as-agents-of-change.php March 2016

**Let's not make Men out of Women, March 2013                        

Note- This article has been published in the June 2019 edition of Business Manager