Women Who Think Too Much: Episode one

In life, we get to choose the kind of leader we want to be, and I think that both men and women need to understand that the world is not as straightforward as we might like it.

This morning, I reflect on my research on women's emotions and know that it is complicated.

Yes, women are complicated; however, so are men.

I feel that the more we practice life, the more confused we are. Now, bear with me for a moment. Women Who Think Too Much is a book already written by Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, and it is important for us to understand that some level of research has already been undertaken.

We learn and understand that there are different types of overthinkers, for instance, in her research.

For instance, we evaluate that rant-and-rave overthinking is the most familiar type and usually centers around some wrong we believe has been done to us (Nolen-Hoeksema, 2003).

There is some research to suggest that after COVID-19, many people now lead different contextual thoughts about the past.

Our past is not new to the psychology of the mind. However, what might be new is the modern stress of life, which can be said to be a lot more complicated post-COVID.

The notion of overthinking then becomes a much more worthwhile investment, and it indicates that women and men need more help and support to avoid overthinking.

I am not an overthinker, according to research by Susan Nolen-Hoeksema.

I feel women and men need to overthink and then bring back the challenges of life more so towards their natural ability to cope with stress.

Each day, when I go on TikTok live for my new daily mental health beach talk show, I get to learn and master new reflective thought leadership.

I understand my emotions well, and that is cool, yet I want to teach that to others, hence me going live every day.

In fact, I almost feel that the process of talking about my feelings so openly on social media is a form of new talking therapy.

And I feel that it also provides me with a safe trial for me not to overthink.

I apologize for getting sidetracked; sometimes I do that. Is that not overthinking itself, sidetracking the mind?

As I stated this morning, we don’t always know what the mind is thinking, and it is nice to understand that we subjectively don’t know why we think the way we do.

However, as Dr. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema points out, the notions of overthinking can both be categorized and mislead to what it is not.

Remember, the first point of overthinking is not to confuse it with worry.

We are indeed allowed to worry as humans, and that is the "What ifs," as stated by Nolen-Hoeksema: What if I don’t say the right thing? What if I can’t make it through school? What if this date goes badly?

I used to be called a worrier, and now my emotional intelligence is much stronger. So I feel that where I ignite some overthinking, I am quick to override it and put it back in a framework that is much easier to process.

“Stop worrying about it” is often the expression we get from friends. However, my new advice to any lady or man is to run those thoughts down.

“Learn to meditate on your thoughts” is usually my phrase on my live talk.

I love knowing that my daily overthinking is reduced to a minimum by going to the beach every morning and just appreciating life.

Past thinkers may never go to the beach or for walks even to stimulate the mind, and that is a shame, as the risk of actual depression levels is high for those who overthink.

In her book, Susan Nolen-Hoeksema talks about the differentiation of OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder). The obsessive thoughts of OCD sufferers could be germs, for instance.

I like the idea that OCD and women’s emotions somewhat correlate to overthinking, so we can create more efficient talking therapies and research to help steer women away from depression and men, of course.

I know from conversations with friends and general people over the years that overthinkers may be asked if they have OCD, and they say yes, but they have never been officially diagnosed.

It saddens my heart to think that many of us suffer poor mental health when we could live a little more freely by being ourselves.

I say overthink more and more, but then relax more to understand our thoughts on a daily basis.

My last point in this article is to finish off with the deep thoughts analogy that we have as humans, again closing in the research of Dr. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema.

According to Nolen-Hoeksema, overthinking is not the same as deep thinking. I believe this connects with my own core research in emotional intelligence.

I do agree with Susan that sometimes our negative emotions provide clues about concerns that we are facing.

I also argue this parallels along the road of suppressing our thoughts. Sometimes in this world, we tend to have the mindset that keeping busy will erode our stress, particularly sadness itself after losing a loved one, for instance.

Now, I do need to be careful here, as the advice I give is only my subjective thoughts. Anybody experiencing what is known as chronic suppression or poor mental health should see their doctor first. I would not presume to give medical advice or deep mental health advice to individuals here.

However, what I think this article draws near to is two or three bodies of research:

1. Emotional Intelligence and how we are sometimes slow at recognizing our emotions
2. Depression and its core relationship to overthinking.
3. Core basic mental health practices to safeguard humans

These three domains could shape more excellent research into how women and men tend to overthink and what is the safest way we can create more efficient training for overthinkers in terms of counseling, perhaps embedding new styles of working with their clients.

Overthinking is a complex science in summary, both for men and women, and it is not always the best idea to constantly put ourselves down when we feel we cannot solve the mess in our heads.

Our moods do indeed go up and down, and we need to be more comfortable with that.