Women - what are we doing?

I had the great fortune of being in the space of someone I have watched from afar for a long time. A woman who epitomises business nous, savviness and a great philosophy on life.

It was by chance (or was it?) I was there. Two of my good friends has been to events with the founder of LBDGroup Janine Garner and when a spot came up to have dinner in her space with some other seriously kick ass women, I grabbed it.

I had withdrawn from networking over the past few months for many reasons; one of them being weariness of the same old conversations and the same speakers (as awesome as they are, I am hungry for info to take me to the next level). Venturing out for the first time in months, I was eager to be part of thought provoking conversations.

And I was.

We talked about the different type of women - the doubters, judgers and ladder kickers. I resonated with the conversation, I had meet (and been) all three. In my fourth decade of life, I look around and see so much angst and division being driven by women AGAINST other women. Nastiness, backstabbing, jealousy, criticism.

I am no Pollyanna. I get we are not all going to get along. That is not gender specific - that is human. But why are women so hard on each other and so hard on themselves. I am not sure if we know what we really want. I am bamboozled that we have to be told we can have what we want.

I know a few women working in the corporate space helping women grab hold of leadership roles (Kimberly Sumner is one) and being paid what they are worth, taking positions they are perfect for and being valued for who they are (not how big their boobs are or what type of suit they wear). Hearing things like 'I am too embarrassed to ask for a pay rise' (so you just keep doing more work for the same money). 'You can't be a mother and a high performing business person.' or 'No one is interested in my story, I am boring.'

Why are we so hard on ourselves? Why do we live with guilt over taking time to look after ourselves? Why do we eat the burnt chop and give the best ones to other people? Why do we always draw attention to the things we hate about ourselves? Why do we not just say thank you when someone give us a compliment? Why? Why? Why?

I wish I had answers. I have worked hard to learn to say thank you to compliments, not judge people on first impressions, to be forgiving (who's perfect?) and to remember that we are all on the same journey, just at different stages.

I wish for women to be more supportive of each other. Life is hard enough without attacking each other.

Stephen Hawking once said “One of the basic rules of the universe is that nothing is perfect. Perfection simply doesn't exist.....Without imperfection, neither you nor I would exist”

There is one thing I know for sure unless you are perfect (and the smarted man in the world says that is impossible), then you should not be throwing stones at other people. Instead, accept, forgive and move on. Support and encourage. Cheer and promote. And if you cannot say anything nice, don't say anything at all.