Women want a partner, not a provider.

Many men are still caught in the provider mentality. They were taught that if they worked hard and made a decent salary, it would confer higher status.

For decades, men were promised the fairytale of heteronormative and traditional family ideals. The father is the king of the castle, and the mother is the queen, caretaker, maid, and, if they are really delusional…sex kitten in heels mixing him a (drink) Manhattan.

Now, men conditioned to be providers must provide something they never learned to provide — partnership.

Sure, a woman still wants a high-earning ambitious man, but not because he can buy a Condo in Dubai. Most women want a high earner because they want to date their equal. For the first time in history, assortative mating has replaced hypergamy.

Women’s standards are rising. Men’s standards are dropping.

In our swipe-left culture, many single people complain that dating has become a cesspool of dissatisfaction. Men felt their expectations were not being met.

Why are women so much more dissatisfied with dating?

Men are not meeting women’s expectations because women’s expectations are unrealistic. I see a different low-hanging fruit problem. It’s not that women’s standards are too high. It’s that men’s standards are too low.

There is a more modern reason for higher infidelity rates in women. As more women are freed from depending on men economically, they cheat more. Money always holds more power than sex.

This power shift can be seen in the aftermath of affairs. Not only are women cheating more, but they are feeling less guilty about it. Women reported increased self-esteem and life satisfaction after having an affair. Meanwhile, the men said their affairs only led to guilt and remorse.

In other words, more women may be cheating because their economic clout makes them feel entitled to cheat.

He says what he means, and means what he says.

To understand emotional maturity, it helps to understand emotional immaturity.

Immaturity is always seeking external validation and approval. In order to feel good about itself, it needs others to praise and compliment it.

Sure — we all enjoy external validation, but there’s a big difference between enjoying it and relying upon it.

When a man is still in this phase of life, he will say and do things specifically designed to garner that validation. In doing so, he says things just because they “sound good,” not because he actually means them.

When he grows past this phase of life, though, living with integrity becomes the goal, and integrity is based on one’s words aligning with their actions.

This is key to watch particularly early on in a relationship, because that’s when people “act their best.” They say the things you want to hear, are always on their best behavior, and are doing the best they can to win you over.

The question, though, is not what he says — but what he does to back it up…and how consistently he does it.

Disclaimer:?The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate.

Thank you?…?Since we are talking about emotional maturity, this point is similarly about emotional safety.

Of course all kinds of safety are essential in a relationship, for nobody who feels unsafe in any way can fully give themselves to another person — nor should they.

Emotional safety, though, is when you can feel comfortable opening up and building a deep bond with another person, free of judgment.

Emotional maturity is accepting and loving. It holds space for you to step into without wondering what the “catch” is, or what’s coming next.

Emotional maturity holds a safe place for you because it’s already created that place for itself. If someone has not yet done that level of work and they themselves live in turmoil and chaos, how can you expect anything different when you step into that world?

I think we can all agree that this doesn’t really meet the mark of “emotional maturity,” just the opposite, actually.

It follows, then, that the opposite of that would be a sign of emotional maturity — the ability and Lack of clarity around identity and purpose, then, can cause confusion and conflict within one’s self.

How can we make the right decision for “me” if we don’t know who that is?

How can we be guided by our values if we’re unclear on them?

How can we choose the right partner if we don’t know what (or who) we’re truly looking for in life?

?Willingness to take responsibility for one’s actions.

Not just actions, though — but also mindset, personal development, successes, failures, victories, mistakes…

At first glance, this might seem self-pitying or even powerless — but the more we explore, the more we understand that it’s about holding one’s self accountable. Being the one who steps up to the plate to create change.

Looking for a solution to a problem, whether or not you caused it.

Do you want to add a word or two...

Men like this will be a solid teammate and partner in life because they’ll be trustworthy and reliable. You can count on them to step up to the plate for you, as well — because that’s part of who they are.

Emotional maturity is about awareness.

It doesn’t force itself into the wrong relationship at the wrong time.

It doesn’t convince itself that it’s ready for something that it isn’t.

It knows itself enough to understand that acting for the wrong reasons is only going to bring more heartbreak and sadness down the road.

When we’re young and excitedly writing out the list of wants and needs that our ideal partner has — “patience” doesn’t always top the list.

Your Comments……

As we grow more mature, though, and have more life experiences, meet more people, and understand what really matters in life — it becomes obvious that being patient is a large factor in the quality of a relationship and how two people merge their lives together.

Patience is necessary when we’re getting to know each other, learning about different family traditions, planning parties or events together, meeting each other’s family and friends.

Emotionally mature men understand the challenge of, but also the value of, looking inward and being honest about what (and who) they see.

This is one of the most difficult things that any of us can do, because it requires looking at ourselves in an uncensored way and, possibly, not liking what we find.

Therein lies the value, though — understanding ourselves on a level that few are willing to. This gives us the clarity and ability to see the good, the bad, the iffy, the awkward.

While some may cringe at the thought, it’s important to understand that improvements in one’s self cannot be made unless the areas for them are first recognized.

It’s easy to avoid what we don’t want to see, and even pretend like it doesn’t even exist. The hard part — but also the important part — is facing them head on. That takes true strength and maturity.

If you liked this post from?DAYAL why not share it?