Women and Our Society

We often hear in our families that we are looking for a match for so-and-so boy, but a girl cannot be found. Sometimes it takes years and we have to search for a girl in different cities across the country just to find one match. But according to reports in 2021, the number of girls in Pakistan is 109.32 million, which is approximately 11 crores. So, why do women not find girls for their sons? A few days ago, I was looking for a match for my cousin, and we went out with my auntie for this purpose. On the way, the vacation of a girls' college happened, and traffic got jammed. Generally, there are 300 to 500 students in a school or college, but when so many girls come out on the road at once, you can imagine the situation. I stopped the car and waited for the road to clear. Meanwhile, my auntie said that unfortunate are the girls who are so many in number that the road is blocked, but when we go out to find a match, we are unable to find one. So, I asked her why don't you people find one, auntie? But then, women check them in such a way that she is fat, thin, has a big nose, is short in height, the colour is not right, she walks slowly, she is sneaky, she looks sick, she is too old, the girl is good, but the mother didn't looks sweet, the girl has a mobile phone, etc. As if you are recruiting for the army. So finding the perfect girl is not difficult, but it becomes impossible. Then, auntie said in anger, "just shut up, you don't know anything about women's affairs."

This made me think, and I thought I should write something about it. In today's era, this is a bitter reality, which has become the biggest reason for delay in marriage.

Most young girls prepare themselves with behaviours and actions, like buffalos in a fair, to present themselves in front of a businessman (boy's mother or sister) and then get rejected for strange and unusual flaws. Then they are left and sitting with the burden on their parents, hearing taunts from family and neighbours, or forced to take a wrong step and choose the path of suicide. All of this is done thinking that I can save myself and my family members from insults, but people do not even spare her corpse, by accusing her of wrongdoing.

How cruel we are, right? And then we are the same people who are seen protesting against the injustices against Kashmiris every year on February 5th .

However, in my opinion, the atrocities of the Indian occupying forces are not of the kind that would make someone commit suicide due to being distressed by them, nor have I ever heard of such a thing.

Today, the women who are pointing out so many flaws in girls for their sons, will not feel bad if their own daughter is criticized tomorrow? This world is a millstone of retribution.

And as a Muslim, if we look at the religion of Islam, it allows not one but four marriages, and marriage to widows has also been encouraged. But with it, the guidance of Allah Almighty is also in the Holy Quran that if the husband and wife are not spending time together, then they should happily separate and find another companion for themselves. But what do we do? We stay bound in the ties of marriage for the sake of our entire lives and society, but we don't even talk to each other, and become patients of tension/depression, and this behaviour of parents severely affects their children.

And even if a divorce happens, men get married again with pomp and show, and poor women remain widows all their lives, and their brothers and fathers do not allow them to remarry because of their honour and ego, which is not only against Islam but also against humanity. Neither are we trying to become Muslims nor are we trying to become human beings, and we only see the injustices of non-Muslims. Then only non-religious people come and teach us women's rights." and they think that Muslim society is oppressing women, so Islam does not give women any rights, while the injustices against our own women are happening due to our own customs and traditions, which have nothing to do with Islam.

In the end, it all boils down to the fact that our mentality and societal norms are responsible for this situation. We need to realize that girls are not inferior to boys and should be treated equally. We should also teach our sons to respect women and treat them as equals. Similarly, we should not judge a girl based on her looks or social status but rather her character and education. We need to create a society where women are not seen as objects to be judged and evaluated, but rather as individuals with their own unique personalities, talents, and abilities. Only then can we hope to create a society that is truly equal and just for all.