Are Women Better Negotiators Than Men?

Negotiation is a crucial part of our lives, both at work and at home.

Whether it’s to sign a business contract, a peace agreement, or a divorce settlement, negotiation is a critical skill in every aspect of life.

Everywhere in the world, women are underrepresented in high-level negotiations, especially in the upper echelons of business and politics. What we don’t realize is that this underrepresentation is literally costing lives.

Women Choose Peace

An analysis of 40 peace negotiations showed that when women had an influence on the negotiation process, it increased the chances that the negotiation would reach an agreement.

Research also shows that peace agreements involving female negotiators are 35% more likely to last 15 years or longer. Moreover, when women are involved in peace-building, the probability of violence ending within one year increases by 24%. And yet, most peace accords do not include a single female co-signer.

Why is that? One reason for this gender gap is that women face more social backlash for being assertive and negotiating aggressively. A study from 2018 found that women who negotiate are often seen as less likable, while men who negotiate are not judged in the same way. Women are often penalized – for either being too assertive or not assertive enough, or too empathetic or not empathetic enough. We all have subconscious biases, and to close the gender gap, we need to change them.

According to a 2019 Harvard Business Review study, women are just as effective at negotiation as men, but are less likely to engage in high-stakes negotiations. In fact, the study found that women are 30% less likely to negotiate their salaries, which can have significant long-term implications for their income, career progression and families.

Despite these challenges, many people believe that women are better negotiators than men. There are several reasons for this.

First, women tend to be more empathetic and emotionally intelligent than men. They usually display a natural ability to bond with other people, understand their needs and find common ground. There could be an evolutionary explanation behind this, as women were the primary caregivers for both children and the elderly. These skills are highly important in negotiations as they allow them to understand the other party's needs better. Women are more likely to use collaborative negotiation strategies, which often lead to better outcomes for all parties involved.

Second, women are often better at building relationships and establishing trust. Trust is critical in negotiation as it can help to overcome deadlocks and create true win-win outcomes. Women are also more likely to focus on long-term relationships rather than short-term gains, which can lead to more sustainable solutions.

Third, because of their preference for collaboration, women are less likely to engage in highly competitive negotiation strategies, which can create tension and damage relationships. Instead, women tend to focus on solving problems and finding creative solutions that benefit all parties while maintaining and strengthening relationships.

A meta-analysis of 28 studies found that women were more effective than men in distributive negotiations, where there is a fixed pie to divide. However, there were no differences between men and women in integrative negotiations, where there is the potential to create value for both parties.

Women are often better at building relationships and establishing trust. Trust is critical in negotiation as it can help to overcome deadlocks and create true win-win outcomes.

A study in the legal profession found that women were just as effective as men in negotiation, and were less likely to use aggressive tactics. While some studies suggest that there may be gender differences in negotiation outcomes, others suggest that those differences may be due to social and cultural factors, rather than innate differences between men and women.

Overcoming Bias and Embracing Diversity

With over 22 years of experience negotiating in high-stakes business environments, I firmly believe that we can reach more success by collaborating together. Both men and women must become aware of the biases that exist in order to change them. Women must continue to grow their self-confidence and trust in their natural strengths and abilities. Furthermore, it is imperative that both men and women collaborate to aim to bridge the gender gap in negotiations and other areas to reap the numerous benefits of diversity.

The research clearly shows that everyone stands to gain when we collaborate rather than compete. The focus should not be on which gender negotiates better, but on how we can leverage each individual's unique strengths to achieve optimal outcomes. Only then can we create true win-win solutions for our personal successes, businesses, the planet, and the world we are creating for the next generation.

Named one of the most influential negotiation professionals globally, Lousin Mehrabi is a sought-after negotiation advisor and inspirational speaker.

She actively shares negotiation insights on LinkedIn, YouTube and her podcast ‘Life Negotiations’ to help people become more confident and skilled in peacefully resolving conflict.

* This article originally appeared in Middle East Business Magazine & News