Women: Ask For What You Deserve

I often talk to women’s groups, and the questions I get asked most often are “How do I get a raise?” and “How do I get a promotion?” I’ve been thinking about those two questions through a larger lens, and I think what we’re really talking about is, how, as women, do we get what we deserve?

The first step we need to take is to ask for what we want. A friend of mine who is a human resources executive at a Fortune 500 company overseeing salary compensation for decades, shared with me that he has rarely had women come into his office to ask for a raise, even though many deserved one. Male staffers, on the other hand, were never shy about asking for more money, whether they deserved it or not.

This lack of confidence can sometimes stem from the fear of being told no.

I’m here to tell you, being told no is not the end of the world. I’ve been told no many times in my life and career, and I not only survived, it made me stronger.

Sometimes I needed to tweak my approach or strategy, sometimes I needed to completely start over, but I never gave up. A no is not usually the final answer. It’s usually a not right now. When it happens to you, re-evaluate your case, see how you can strengthen it, and keep trying. Also know you’re not alone.

Companies with all female founders only received about 2 percent of venture funding last year, according to cfo.com. Heather Gates from Deloitte and Touche told the site, “Even when they found great businesses, women are less likely to swing for the fences.” This could also be attributed to the nature of the meeting. In a study published by Harvard Business Review, researchers observed hundreds of interactions between venture capitalists and entrepreneurs. The team found that the venture capitalists were likely to ask men about potential gains and women about potential losses.

To combat these biases, we need to build our confidence. Part of that can be accomplished with preparation. Think through what you want, why you deserve it, and what the person you’re negotiating with will gain by saying yes.

And when we get what we’ve worked so hard for, one thing we need to do is shed imposter syndrome.

A study by the research and audit company KPMG found that an astonishing 75% of female executives across industries experience imposter syndrome.

Women executives have proven to be intelligent, creative, talented and hard-working and we should own it! So when you achieve your dreams, when you get that raise, nab that promotion or receive that funding, know you got it because you deserved it.