Women, Am I Right?

“Nice to meet you, sweetie.”

“No problem, honey.”

“Hey there, beautiful.”

I am not your honey, sweetie or anything else. And though you may find me attractive,?I did not ask. I am Laura; and that is what you can call me.

“Are you married?”

Yes. But honestly, my answer to that should not change your behavior toward me. You shouldn’t need to know if I have a boyfriend, a husband, children, or anything else to know how to proceed with me.?In no way?is a woman being single an invitation for conversations or actions that will make her uncomfortable.

“I can tell you like to be in charge.”

I am a powerful and intelligent woman.?I not only deserve, but demand respect. When I speak, I should not be spoken over because someone else feels what they have to say is more important. When I hold a meeting, attendees should be attentive, because if it is worth a meeting, it is worth attention. And if you sense that I am a dominant personality, do not sexualize me. My boldness is not to something to be tamed in a bedroom or anywhere else. It is a trait that has helped me lead teams to success. Pushed me to overcome adversity. Driven me to keep fighting against gender norms and stand firmly in my confidence regardless of who is around.?

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to touch you, I was just trying to get past.”

Do your hands brush against the backsides of your male colleagues when you are trying to get past? Do you put your hand on their lower back as you walk beside them in a business setting? Would it strike you as completely acceptable if a male colleague rubbed your shoulders without invitation? If the answer is no,?it’s a no for women too.

“She is someone’s wife, mother, daughter, sister.”

Too often women’s identities are lost to the social expectations of nurturing others. Yes, I have two brilliant kids, a wonderful husband, and a family that I love. But I will not be defined by the position I hold in someone else’s life. I am the leader of a powerhouse sales team. I am a podcast host. I am active in community service. I am a mentor, a manager, a coach?and a complete person.?Please don’t assume that the only thing I have to talk about is my children. I love books, cooking, learning, laughing, gin, video games, gardening — I have depth beyond my relationships. All women do.

“Don’t you think you are overreacting?”

“You’re being very dramatic right now.”

“She is such a b****”

Let me make this perfectly clear: I am not being dramatic; I am passionate. I am not overreacting; I am expressing my perspective without making myself small for the comfort of others. I might be a b****, but not for leaning into my role and holding others accountable. Not for calling out behavior that is not in line with professional boundaries. Not for holding fast to the respect I deserve. Not for voicing my opinion or having healthy debates. Men do those things all the time and get kudos; time to rethink your expectations of women in the workplace.

It's Women’s History Month in March. And at the risk of being abrasive, aggressive, unladylike, or simply “too much” for some people out there — it’s time to smash the lens that we’ve been looking at women through for far too long. Break the bias. Defy the stereotypes. And instead, make a conscious effort to explore the?individual?with whom you are interacting, regardless of their gender. Respect them. Hear them. Advocate for them. And damnit, make some space at the table for women like me; because if history tells us anything, we aren’t going anywhere but up.

This blog was originally published by Meatingplace Magazine on 3/29/22: https://www.meatingplace.com/Industry/Blogs/Details/103776