Will This Woman Take This Pancake?

I’ve never been married. This is for a couple of reasons, most of which I won’t get into. But a pretty major one is my fear of commitment. I’m not fearful of love, of partnership, of relying and being relied upon. I’m down for all that. I’ve got a problem with vowing to do those things forever. To me, doing so is like getting an emotional tattoo of somebody’s name across your chest.? And we’ve all seen what happens the minute someone gets their partner’s name tattooed across their chest. Going “Instagram Official,” is the kiss of death! Do a quick count of how many couples survive a reality show. I’ll wait!?

The only thing I feel comfortable making a vow of forever love and commitment to is pancakes. 46 years in, my feelings remain true, strong, and unrelenting. I am confident our bond is unbreakable. Still, I’m not getting a pancake tattoo.?

While I’ve never personally made wedding vows, I’ve attended enough weddings and seen enough movies (that depict women as pathetically desperate to walk down the aisle despite the character of the man at the end of it) to know that they typically include people making vows of ‘for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.” The true test of any relationship is how, together, you weather the storms of life. It’s easy to love a better, richer, healthy person. It’s easier to love that better, richer, and healthier you. The true test of the love and commitment you have for yourself, is how you treat yourself when you’re kind of the worst, when you’re broke, when you’re not? engaging in the healthiest of activities e.g. beer and Doritos for dinner.

The vow you make to yourself is AT LEAST as important than any vow you make to a love, a partner, a friend or a meal plan.

The last 6 months have been a true test of the vows I’ve made to myself. And all I can say is thank God I have pancakes!

This is a draft excerpt from Ask Olivia Volume III. Click here to get a listen to Volume I and Volume II.