Woman - Ask nicely for what you want

My friend recently told me she had been kicking herself for a lost opportunity.

She had sat at a dinner table where the founder of the company joined them. Her husband who sat between her and the founder chatted up a storm.

My friend, however lost out as, the nice woman to her left kept engaging her in conversation, so she didn’t get to participate or listen to their leader who she greatly admired. She ‘should’ve’ nicely - told her chatty neighbour to quieten down. But, she didn’t and she repented the once in a lifetime lost opportunity. 

Today, I boarded a flight to Mumbai as the last person.

On entering the aircraft, I saw that the first row seats were empty. So, I asked the in-flight attendant, how come I was not given this seat at the counter? , even though, I’d offered to pay for an extra leg room. She looked around, warmly smiled and said, you may please take the seat. She even served me cashews and a juice that went with the seat, as a gesture of goodwill, at no extra cost.

I thought about these 2 scenarios and how the desired end-result is met.

Intelligence has nothing to do with it

My friend is an amazingly smart scientist.

Speaking up has everything to do with it

I speak up, as no one I know is a mind reader.

Quick thinking greatly helps. The moment of opportunity passes too soon, so drop the agonizing mind, shhh it - ask right away, no - you won’t be guillotined.

Smiling and asking for our need is a winning formula

Then we can avoid the ‘should a, could a, would a’ tune that keeps playing in our head afterwards.

How to ask? By simply asking.

Ask now. Ask for what you need. Ask nicely. Apologise for asking. Ask anyway. You may not always get what you asked for. Accept that too.

But you will be glad you tried asking.

And hey! You may well get what you asked for. Remember my airline seat? I have touched down in Mumbai now and I am smiling :-)