Wish you were beer

To quote Homer Simpson, “Mmm beer.”

I really love beer. And water too. I pretty much just drink beer and water and very little else in between, which makes sense because beer is mostly water—super-tasty, feel-goody water, but water nonetheless. The first beer I ever tasted was awful. And stolen. My friend and I cracked one open, drank some and stupidly put the open can back in the fridge. Busted! The second beer I ever drank, also stolen, was just as bad. It took lots of practice, but I finally reached some level of tolerance.

Our love affair began like most, when I was young and dumb and broke. My underdeveloped taste buds preferred the sweet stuff; anything with pineapple juice and coconut rum was my jam. But my first grown-up job paid next to nothing and I had to make some tough decisions like, cocktails or cable bill? Ultimately I did the responsible thing and borrowed some money from mom for the cable bill and started mixing my coconut rum with Kool-Aid. I know. Super classy. Also, not sustainable. So, I made the switch to a more frugal lifestyle—

“I’ll have a beer, please.”

“Ok, what kind?”

“One I can see through.”

And just like my taste in men has changed over the years, so has my taste in beer. I leveled up each time going from uninspired, and void of personality and thought, to wanting a bit more flavor and depth, briefly back to a selfish, empty can of narcissism—but I digress—and onto gorgeous hazy’s, milkshake and smoothie beers, and an occasional sour, but absolutely nothing I can see through! Follow me for more relationship advice.

You can imagine my excitement when I first heard that brewers are using reclaimed or reuse (pronounced with a soft “s”) water for brewing small batches of craft beer. My worlds have collided—beer AND water conservation! I’ll join that mug club! Reclaimed or reuse refers to treated wastewater. That water can be used for watering green spaces and golf courses, or it can pumped down into a deep injection well, which overtime re-enters the aquifer. But reuse water is non-potable, so further treatment is necessary if you want to brew beer with it. Many places, especially in drier climates, are already treating their wastewater to drinking water standards. You may think there is an unlimited supply of freshwater, but actually only 3% of the water on our planet is fresh, and 2% of that is frozen in glaciers (and climate change is having its way with it), which leaves 1% that is accessible. Our huge population consumes freshwater faster than it can go back through the water cycle, so, this practice, referred to as “toilet to tap,” helps conserve water. Man, I would have loved a seat at that table when they were discussing their marketing plan. I mean, I love the water and sewer industry, and I love alliteration too, but not everyone can swallow “toilet to tap.” See what I did there? (Future article idea: Lighten up, people!)

Surely there’s a grossness factor folks need help getting past, and I think reuse beer is a great educational opportunity to learn more about water and appreciate the importance of conservation. Plus, you can have so much fun with the names! This idea has been swirling around my head for years, and I found an old list that my husband and I made, while at a brewery of course, of names for some of the beers. Here are a few of my faves: I.P.P.A., Hefewizzin’, Amber Logger, Impoorial Ale. Endless creative opportunities!

So if there’s anyone out there with more money than me, I will match your bravery and we will do this thing! Let’s change people’s minds about drinking what once was wastewater, while raising awareness about the importance of protecting our precious freshwater resources.

Will work for beer.

And also money.