The Wisest Life Advice from the Internet

We all know the Internet has a massive dark side overflowing with anger and misinformation and all things 2020. So much so, I sometimes have to remind myself that the Internet can also be lovely and inspiring. In that spirit, I read all 11,700 comments of a Reddit thread called “Those who grew up with a good father: What was the most important thing you learned from him?”

It took awhile, but it was a great experience. I’m putting my favorite wisdom below in case it helps anyone. I broke it up by theme, such as “Listen More,” “Kindness,” and “Cooking advice.”

(PS I wrote this while ignoring my kids and letting them watch whatever horrible videos their YouTube algorithm suggested).

Also please add your own advice in the comments.

The photo is of my grandpa, my dad, me, and my son.

LISTEN MORE, TALK LESS

-“Two ears, one mouth."

-“Be quick to listen and slow to speak."

-“Don’t speak unless it improves upon silence.(Gandhi, but he was a dad too)”

PREPARE

-"The 6 P’s of life: Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance.”

-"Always plan for 'plan C' .... or maybe D"

-“Measure twice, cut once.”

-“First of all, don't regret, and don't look at things you didn't accomplish, instead look at what you managed to do and what to do next.”

-“The most important lesson he taught me was "If you're early, you're on time. If you're on time, you're late".”

-“Every time I mess up he asks me, "Okay. Now, what can we do about it?"

GET SOME GRIT

-“Bite off more than you can chew, and chew like fuck"

-“If it was easy, everyone would do it.”

-“Never do anything half-ass. Always do everything 100% ass.”

-“When facing a difficult problem that feels impossible, break it down, and only worry about solving one step at a time.”

-“Always be the best at everything or just give it 100 percent and always try do a damn fine job. If you are a garbage man, be the best garbage man in your entire crew.”

-“You don't have to be the best, but you must try your best.”

-“Done is better than perfect”

ALWAYS BE LEARNING, ALWAYS BE HUMBLE

-“If you're the smartest person in the room go to another room.”

-"There will always be someone better than you that you can learn from no matter how good you get. The best doesn't exist.”

-“You don’t know what you don’t know”

-"The most successful people in this world became that way because they continuously learned new ways to self improve.”

-“You’re not as smart as you think you are.”

-“Being able to admit when you’ve made a mistake- I remember when I was 6, him apologizing to me when he had punished me for taking something that belonged to him- turns out he’d misplaced it after all! That changed my perception that adults were always right!”

-“I learned from my dad that not having all the answers is ok. That some questions will never get answered and it’s ok. The process of wonder and discovery and never ending learning will suffice.”

ANGER IS OFTEN COUNTERPRODUCTIVE

-“Don't make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions.”

-“When you are arguing with someone you have to choose between being right and being happy.”

-“If someone is being totally unreasonable with you, sometimes you should just silently walk away.”

-“Being angry is meaningless, just fix it(or just leave) and move on.”

-“The squeaky wheel sometimes gets the grease but sometimes gets the axe instead.”

-“Don't talk shit about your best friend's partner. Even if they are sitting there talking shit. Even if they just broke up. Even if it's been a long time since they broke up.”

LIFE IS NOT BLACK AND WHITE

-“Never attribute to malice what you can attribute to stupidity.”

-“There are no angels and no demons. No one is going to be perfectly moral all the time and no one is pure evil. We are all trying our best.”

-“He cheated on my mom but was always a great dad, so I guess he taught me that good people can do bad things?”

-"If you choose to look for the worst in things, you will find it with ease. If you choose to look for the good in things, you will also find them with ease."

-“When something didn't go my way he always said "life isn't fair, but try to make it fair.”

HAVE FUN

-“Laugh at your own jokes. Make them for yourself. You can never be sure a joke will land with others, but if you can make one person laugh, let it be yourself.”

-“Candy is dandy, but sex won't rot your teeth.” That one shocked me at first, but it speaks to a willingness to look past cultural norms and really examine whether something is bad for you, or just derided by society for reasons that may not apply.”

ON THE OTHER HAND, BE CAREFUL

"When your pecker gets hard, your brain gets soft."

BE KIND

-‘Always be kind to caterpillars’

-“Don’t be an asshole.”

-“If you open a gate, close it, always. If you borrow something, bring it back in the same or better condition. If you're wrong, admit it and apologize.”

-“Hug your mom (except during Covid)”

-“Any time my dad dropped me off somewhere (school, soccer practice, etc.) he would always tell me he loved me and “make sure you’re kind to someone today!”

-“My dad was a huge Beatles fan and this is on his burial stone : "And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make".

-“When he was in college, my dad was on the dive team. One day he was walking down the street and saw another person on his team. My dad yelled out “Hey Dave!”, and waved. Dave completely ignored him and kept walking. My dad looked at his roommate that he was walking with and said,

“Ya know, it doesn’t take much to say hi, but it sure takes an asshole not to”.

COOKING AND DIET ADVICE

-“Use more flour when you’re making pizza.”

-“Never eat anything bigger than your own head...”

-"If you don't brown the flour when making gravy, you're just making paste."

-“To open a jar that's too hard to open by hand, heat the lid on a stove so it expands and loosens.”

-“When you're putting away the dishes, put the knives away first.”

-“Don't drink your calories. Except for beer.”

-“Don’t cook everything on high.”

-“Drink more water.

-My father took a big gulp of water and declared it "Nature's finest drink!"

I told him that it wasn't.

"Okay. What is nature's finest drink?"

"Juice."

"Where does juice come from?"

"Fruit."

"Where does fruit come from?"

"Trees."

"What do trees drink?"

I reconsidered and said that milk was nature's finest drink.

"Where does milk come from?"

"Cows."

"What do cows drink?"

Well, he had me there. I had to concede that he was correct, and he taught me how to think things through, besides.”

PRACTICAL ADVICE

-“Lottery tickets are a tax on people who are bad at math.”

-“You can use old kitchen knives as throwing knives at your fence.”

-“Need to drain a pool with no pump? Stick a water hose in it, turn on the water, then turn off the water, disconnect the hose and clamp it shut, run it down hill and let go. It will siphon the whole pool empty.”

-“Never use a nylon rope with a chain when pulling someone's car out of the ditch. The nylon can break and send the chain flying into you.”

DON’T DO WHAT I DID ADVICE

-“I grew up with a not so good father. The only advice he ever gave me was --“Don’t ever get married, but if you do, don’t have any kids.”

--“Well my dad was shit. But I sure as hell never touched meth now did I? Thanks pop.”

BE A FROG. OR MAYBE A DUCK

-“Be a frog. Two frogs had fallen into a bucket of milk and could not jump out, so they began swimming frantically. After a while, one of the frogs got exhausted and said to his friend "What is the point? We'll never escape this. Just let fate set in" and gave up (and drown). The other frog, however, was determined to find a way to live. Eventually, all the swimming the frog did had turned the milk into butter, and he was able to easily jump out.”

-“Be a duck. Whenever you come across something that is upsetting, tell yourself “be a duck.” What happens when a duck gets water on its feathers? They just shake it off. So in the same vein, shake it off when you come across something that is upsetting because in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter. It’s not gonna matter 10 minutes from now; 10 months from now; or 10 years from now.”

PARENTING / FAMILY ADVICE

--"Humiliating your child is not discipline.”

- “If he wanted me to do something, he would take the time to explain to me why (especially if it was hard). He never once told me “because I told you so” or “because I’m the adult”. If I pushed back, he would walk me through his logic and most of the time I’d agree with him. This was for everything from doing yard work to apologizing to someone.”

--“Presence over presents.”

--“You don't have to be blood related to someone to be family.”