As Wise As Thirty

I am turning 29 next month. For anyone who is just a single day older than that, this would mean absolutely nothing. But it is the start of my thirtieth year and that is a big deal for me. There is no growth without wisdom. It is just aging otherwise. Only fools fall for that: the difference between living and existing. For a very long time, I have been sourcing my satisfaction significantly from my work and what I do. This is changing now. Both my needs and desires are searching for newer, more diverse forms of life. Well, I understand that I might actually be early or late to arrive at this finding compared to others within my age range; but hey, this was never a race to begin with. I don't know if we're even on the same track. What I believe though is that this milestone is a very healthy and natural state of progress.

I like the sound of it. Three decades past. Prime years ahead. According to the World Health Organization's 2016 Global Index, the average male life expectancy at birth is 69.8 years. Whoah, that's very interesting – almost halfway there! That is just 40 more summers to lie on a beach and 10 FIFA World Cups to watch. I'm not being pessimistic at all. That is enough time to become famous and run for multiple terms of presidency too. What to do is not the point though. The point is obviously how to go about life onwards; how the concept of quality of life is to be approached. I admit it to myself. I cannot say that I have that answer yet. Yet I do know that I have a balance of thirty years to reflect back on and learn from.

So what have I got sitting in my basket so far? I think I do have something. I hope.

The Flush Effect is the dependance on all good things, despite importance, to keep my mindset off anything with a bad influence. The idea is to stop worrying about changing the world. It won't happen. Energy is of better use when it is streamlined at producing positivity at enough volumes; enough to make what's negative out there a negligible minority. I can't eradicate what's negative, but I can shift my focus. Flush it away.

Me, Myself and I – The Personal Trifecta I often try to assess my ways of going about life in general and in specifics. Being neutral and objective at all times is not an easy task [I'm a Leo :)] but there is a lot of learning in the process, I find. Was that the right thing to say? Should have I behaved differently? Is that an opportunity in disguise I might miss? Answering these from various day-to-day interactions creates an out-of-person experience, if I am honestly looking for the truth. I represents my very self. Me represents how I am viewed by someone else. Myself is the grand perspective. I came across a beautiful way of putting all of this together by Ronald Heifetz, a Harvard University Senior Lecturer in Public Leadership. He describes it as being on a dance floor versus on an overlooking balcony. When in action, the focus is on your moves, your partner and the people around you. When up at the balcony, the focus shifts to macro: patterns on the dance floor, the genre of music playing, better reception of signals and a larger picture is received. A balanced life can only be struck when we take both positions and rotate between the dance floor and the balcony. Dance. Watch. Repeat. (And hopefully learn something through advancement.)

The 3 Principles are all I have needed to maintain a sane life so far. In order of noteworthiness: (1) Respect: I always start at a 100% and leave it to the other side (person, product, anything) to control whether that stays there or suffers a drop. Without respect, it is pandemonium. (2) Simplicity: Oh! I cannot stress enough how underrated simplicity is. I think everyone wants to be simple but then they're afraid of being too exposed. You can hide a lot behind complexity. Simplicity is a very difficult thing to reach then maintain. And (3) Not getting too attached to anything. This drives more independence, none to minimal expectations to be set and most importantly freedom of unessential ties.

The Beauty of Pain Pain is one of those things that serve as reminders for the blessings we have. Pain humbles, gives health value. I saw this report on a little girl who feels no pain whatsoever. It is a condition known as Congenital Insensitivity to Pain (CIP). She could bite off her own fingers, scratch her own cornea and pull out her own nail, and not feel a thing. I am grateful for the blessing of pain. Pain is an organ's way of communicating that something is not functioning properly. Physical, emotional and mental aspects can all endure pain. I believe that pain always comes from where it is least expected. Why? Because we take things (and people) for granted. Pain is good.

Who Motivates the Motivator Coaches, teachers, instructors, first-aiders, comedians, leaders, achievers – they're human too! Aren't they? They have days when they wake up on the wrong side of the bed. They feel sore and bored and get sick just like everyone else. But no! We walk into a gym and expect the coach to bring out the best in us. We walk into a concert and expect the maestro to pull off an out-of-this-world performance. I know that they have the skill, what it takes to be who they are. Otherwise they wouldn't be in that position. I demand them to be who I expect them to be, especially when money is involved. But I take a step back sometimes and ask: where does motivation get its motivation?

The Not So Common Sense It is not common. Stop calling it common sense. It is not common. If it were common, I wouldn't be mentioning it. Common sense is good sense and sound judgement in practical matters. Now look around you. How many people do you see who you think have that? If you see many, DM me your location immediately. I am moving. If you can only count a handful, embrace them for as long and as hard as you can. They are your lifesavers. However if you find none, you need to be worried. This can be very contagious. Start planning your exit strategy.

Life's Little Big Things There is joy in the details of things sometimes. Minor things that grant a larger sense of fulfillment than what they're worth. They are mini pauses of life that just feel good – keeping it real and simple. They could be random and intangible, abstract feelings. I keep reminding myself that I should make up a list of them every time I notice one. I am talking about a glass of water with just the right temperature, a phone fully-charged at a 100%, a gas tank filled up to the very brim, a strong wi-fi connection with no dimmed signals, a menthol head shower after a fresh haircut, a seedless red watermelon cut open, a bank text message of an incoming transfer, a new record after a HIIT workout, and on and on and on. They are all around us and we just need to take a second to appreciate it all.

Dear Future Wife, Daughter and Son I am very sorry. I have nothing to say to you at this time. I do think about you from time to time. I am still indecisive on the need though. Don't get me wrong here. I just need to be positive that I am ready for you. I always think of my timeline having precisely three, of-unrivaled-substantiality milestones. The day I was born. The day I die. And the day I get married. The latter is the only one I'm in charge of. Everything else, and I mean every single thing, is no more than a normal event in the sequence of a life of a man. Marriage isn't. Children can't change their parents. I really really really want this to be done right. I'll know when I know. Baby, I am repeatedly told that I am a difficult person. I say difficulty is nothing but a measure of the reference's knowledge. I want to be the world's most difficult question and that won't be a problem for you, because you'll have the answer.

The Two Methods to Learning Anything I prefer practice over theory. In practice, there is learning in the how-to process just as much as there is in the how-not-to. How-not-to do something is similar to eliminating wrong answers on an MCQ rather than looking for the right answer. A general rule of thumb is that everything is allowed unless it is forbidden. So why worry about what's permitted? Avoid the negatives and you're good to go.

Fear of Commitment to What's Wrong I am not afraid of commitment. I am already committed to many important things in my life. But I have this constant fear of committing to the wrong things. Like everything, this has consequences. I fear committing to a wrong relationship: so I keep my guards up. I fear committing to a wrong product: so I avoid falling into brand loyalty. I fear committing to a wrong goal: so I stand away from risks. I fear committing to a wrong position: so I take a neutral one. If only there were a guide to what's right and wrong. Well sometimes it is crystal clear, others it is a very thin line. Faith helps. A good heart helps.

A Thing for Sexy Brains I hope she is smarter than she looks. I hope she is not just a pretty face. I have a thing for sexy brains and I cannot hide it. It is called sapiosexualism. Plato said, "Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder." There is a great level of subjectivity in that. Physical beauty matters of course, but nothing is more disgusting than someone without substance. Our brains sit at the very top of our bodies. They're our crowns technically. Text me your number if yours glows. That's what she said.

The Only Certainty in Life is uncertainty. I once read what implied that people start dying the day they're born. In the hit show Mad Men, the incredible Don Draper says: "The day you sign a client is the day you start losing them." This is indeed very true, more realistic than bleak. Anyhow getting comfortable with the concept is vital. I guess that that is what breaks people most of the time: going through denials and rejections. There are tons of beautiful Arabic poetry and Greek wisdom on this. Move on. Live on. Life won't stop for you.

The Power of Stupidity Stupidity is defined as the lack of intelligence, understanding, reason or wit. There have been studies on categorizing it as a mental illness or simply human laziness. The verbatim I found to be most descriptive were "confident ignorance" and "absent mindedness". The one and the other refer to lack of control and that is every person's natural duty. Nothing gets on my nerves like someone being stupid. Just to be clear: no one is proof of being dumbed down once in a while, but it gets remarkable when there is a pattern. And just like there is power in evil, the power of stupidity should never be undermined. Now the more stupidity you can gather in one situation the more explosive it gets. This is a seriously dangerous matter. Stupid people with technology, and even worse, authority are basically a threat to everyone's existence. We need more efforts to end stupidity as soon as possible. HELP! I believe this can be much easier than trying to spread intellect.

Caring Less is Caring More The less the things you have to care about, the more the care you can have on the things you care about. I am very picky in this area. Time. People. Money. Effort. I care about providing enough care when and where it is needed. I can say this though: if you can afford being careless, don't save a penny.

Keep Moving We were not born to stay still nor sit at a desk for 8 hours a day. I wear my Apple Watch because it does just that. It tells me to stand for 12 hours a day. It challenges me to burn a 1,000 calories a day. It pushes me to finish no less than 30 minutes of exercise a day. I've been doing it for enough days, I don't have to wear it anymore. Moving mode is now built-in for me. I cannot stand myself if a day passes by without me breaking a sweat. Think of moving. Talk about moving. Compete with movers. Start moving. Move till it is a habit. Then move some more. You can't go soft on this one. You snooze, you lose. I crawl when they sleep, walk when they crawl, run when they walk and fly when they run.

The Pursuit of Happyness is what we are all after in this life. Thank you, Steven Conrad.

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. – Ghandi

Thank you so very much for reading! (Yes, the pun in the title is intended.) Your fairly early birthday wishes are most welcome in comments below.