Balancing Act: Finding Identity Beyond the Workplace

Dear readers,

When I first started my career in healthcare IT, I was eager and full of energy, which I still am, ready to take on every challenge that comes my way. Back then, I didn’t just see my job as a means to an end; it was a reflection of who I was. I was Khalid Turk, the problem solver, the innovator, the guy who could make things happen. My work wasn’t just something I did; it was a significant part of my identity. And for a long time, I thought that was the best way to approach my career.

One particular project stands out in my memory—a massive EMR implementation at a hospital that had just been acquired. I was the Program Manager, responsible for leading a team through what felt like an impossible task. The stakes were high, and so was the pressure. I threw myself into the work, often staying late, skipping meals, and even missing family events. My wife, ever supportive, would remind me to take care of myself, but I was too focused on the project’s success. In my mind, if the project failed, I failed.

?During one of those long nights, I found myself alone in the office, staring at the screen, trying to troubleshoot a problem that just wouldn’t go away. As I sat there, I realized something—I wasn’t just frustrated with the situation; I was angry at myself. How could I, Khalid Turk, the expert in healthcare IT, not be able to solve this? That was the first time I felt the downside of having work as such a significant part of my identity. The line between professional setbacks and personal failures had blurred, and it took a toll on my well-being.

But the story doesn’t end there. The project was eventually a success, and the hospital’s systems went live without any major issues. Yet, even in that moment of triumph, there was a lingering feeling of emptiness. I had neglected other aspects of my life—my family, my health, my hobbies—all in the name of work. That’s when I started to rethink how much of myself I had invested in my career.

Over the years, I’ve learned to strike a better balance. It wasn’t easy, and it took a few more wake-up calls to get there. One such moment came during the COVID-19 pandemic. I was leading the rapid expansion of services at Santa Clara County’s health system, a project that was both critical and time-sensitive. This time, however, I approached it differently. I made sure to delegate more, trust my team, and set boundaries to protect my time. I was still deeply committed, but I had learned that my value wasn’t solely tied to my work.

That’s not to say that my work isn’t important to me—quite the opposite. But I’ve come to understand that it’s just one part of who I am. I’m also a father, a husband, an author, and a mentor. I’ve found fulfillment in other areas of my life, which in turn has made me a more balanced and effective leader. My identity is now multifaceted, and I’m more resilient because of it.

So, is it a good thing for work to be part of your identity? I believe it can be, as long as it’s not the only thing. Work can provide purpose, drive, and a sense of accomplishment, but it shouldn’t come at the expense of everything else. I’ve learned to take pride in my work without letting it consume me. And that’s the advice I’d give to any leader: find a balance that allows you to excel in your career while still enjoying the richness of life outside the office.

Today, I approach my role with a different mindset. I’m still passionate about what I do, but I’ve also embraced the idea that there’s more to life than work. It’s not just about the next project or the next big achievement; it’s about being present in the moments that matter, both at work and at home. After all, at the end of the day, the most successful leaders are those who can lead not just in their careers, but in their lives as well.

Talk to you again next Friday. Have a cheerful weekend.

Khalid Turk

khalidturk.com

Excellence is a habit!