Wisdom is whether to say it or not

It is our common knowledge that decides what to say and our skills decide how to say it whereas the attitude decides how much to say but wisdom decides whether to say it at all or just refrain from saying so!

Actually wisdom begins with the understanding that we ourselves are never fully equipped to absolutely define what is wise and what is not.

When we look at the writings of Solomon for clues. Whether one is theistic or not, millions and millions of wisdom-seeking people have, over centuries and millennia, respected the reputation of Solomon as one of the wisest who ever lived. Solomon lived life to the fullest, taking complete advantage of his regal position for material gain and pleasure. Yet he also delved deep into his relationship with God, building an amazing temple and leaving us profound writings on this relationship and the absolute importance of seeking wisdom.

Why then, does he state several times in different contexts, that wisdom begins with fear of the Lord? From a secular point of view, one can start with a diluted version: Wisdom begins with realising that You are not in complete control of how your life is run. It takes a leap of faith to consider that God is in control, but short of that, a great start is getting used to the fact that you don't know it all and need to respect and fear how unanticipated turns can be catastrophic.

Wisdom is an understanding that what you know is never enough and that Intelligence alone will not help you to take the best decisions. It is knowing when to listen and when to speak. It is knowing when to get angry and when to let it go. It is knowing that the most obvious solution is not the best solution in any situation. It is knowing what stand for and try to change only what you can change. Wisdom is knowing that you should not fix what is beyond repair.

Wisdom is like waving your hand at every kid you see, and pass on the balloon which you bought from the urchin girl on the roadside. It is to choose between beggars on the streets and give money only to the needy ones. It is listening to the music which you know to be beautiful but don’t understand. Try doing it. Early movies were silent. Art doesn’t need language. Lyrics are just a medium to express and wisdom is the quality which shows maturity of expression.

Wisdom is to apologise. Try to explain where you were coming from. Make plans to see each other soon. Do something fun and try to put the argument aside. If there's more to say, meet somewhere neutral (like a coffee shop) and try to talk about it calmly. Try to forgive and move on and of course agree to disagree and close the argument.

Disputes give argumentative people a sense of superiority. By displaying your lack of interest in discussing the topic you will seem superior yourself. Agree without agreeing. Say something like, "You're probably right, but I like my way." Once you have done this there is nothing left to argue about. This is finally the wisdom which helps us withdraw sometimes instead of keeping on fighting over petty issues and matters.

It's not a message likely to be found on many Valentine's cards but research has found that couples who argue together, stay together. Couples who argue effectively are 10 times more likely to have a happy relationship than those who sweep difficult issues under the carpet, according to a survey of almost 1,000 adults. Therefore, keep loving each other and keep fighting but wisdom is that you close the fight by saying sorry to the other. Stay blessed! #kishoreshintre