The Wisdom of Un-Knowing

A while back, I received a message that ripped open the veil that had been hiding an old elephant in the room for a local circle of people I knew.?Confronted with evidence that the worst nightmare we could imagine had actually occurred, I watched my own mind prepare for battle.?The story that was shared was one of unconscionable actions that had negatively impacted many people.?And I got hooked.

My first instinct was to come out swinging, nobly imagining myself as heroine of a righteous battle.?And so an internal battle within me was ignited, and kept me restless through a mostly sleepless night.?

My mind kept pointing out all of the implications, all the ways many of us were victimized, all the ways justice needed to prevail.?And as it repeated these stories over and over, they grew in size and intensity, and my body became tight and entered a state of hypervigilence.?

Thankfully, I have also been practicing mindfulness for many years, and there was an equally (indeed a bit stronger) impulse to watch the thoughts.?So I got up out of bed to go sit in meditation, to, as my martial arts master used to say, “Stop your thinking! Feed your thoughts to the fire of your breath.?Let these thoughts burn in the fire of what is actually present, which in this moment, is just your breath.”?So I sat for quite a while, letting my breath bring me back to a state of equanimity.?And it was then that I remembered a Zen story of an old farmer.?It goes like this:

"One day, a farmer’s only horse ran away.?On that evening the neighbors gathered to sympathize with him, for surely this was such bad luck.?Now your farm will suffer and you will not be able to plow, the neighbors warned the farmer.?Such a terrible thing to have happened to you, they said.

The farmer said, “maybe yes, maybe no.”?

The next day the horse returned and brought him six wild horses, and the neighbors came to congratulate him and celebrate his good fortune.?Now you are richer than before, they said.?Surely now this has turned out to be such a very good thing, for you, after all.

The farmer said, “maybe yes, maybe no.”?

The following day, the son saddled and rode one of the wild horses.?He was thrown off the horse and broke his leg.?Now the son could not work on the farm.?Again the neighbors came to offer their sympathy for such an inconvenient truth.?They noted that there was more work than the farmer could handle and surely now he would become poor.?Such bad luck, indeed.

The farmer said, “maybe yes, maybe no.”?

The day after that, conscription officers came to the village to take all the young men for the army, but because of his broken leg, the farmer’s son was disallowed.?When the neighbors arrived again, they said how very fortunate the farmer was, as things had worked out after all.?Knowing well that most young men never return from the war alive, this was the best fortune yet. In response to their reflections,

The old farmer said, “maybe yes, maybe no.”?

Following my own pivot from a "9-1-1 alert" back to an open mind, I learned that the friend who had reported the “worst nightmare” story to me the night before, discovered that she had misinterpreted some data.?And while there was still evidence that something?might?be amiss, we simply didn't know.?Maybe yes, maybe no.?We reminded each other we could continue to choose how we would respond to whatever was revealed moment by moment. The story and all related interpretations were no longer running us. Ah relief.

These days amidst the incredible twists and turns across the world, within our organizations, within communities, and our own personal lives, it is easy to imagine that we KNOW exactly what is happening in front of us. Instead, the invitation right now is to hold absolutely everything lightly, and with a mind open to all possibilities. To practice whatever helps us to stay open and clear in the present moment, to be curious. and not get sidetracked by old stories or interpretations that are triggered by fear.

As you think about all the ways your own amygdala (lizard brain) can react to what seems to be happening these days:

• ?How can the farmer’s story inform your own choices right now?
• What does the voice of fear tell you is at stake if you let go of your own tight fisted hold on your interpretation(s)?
• What might be possible for you and your organization if you begin relating to life like the farmer?

For centuries, our mainstream cultures have equated certainty with strength and power. This belief will no longer serve us. As we move through these utterly uncertain, chaotic, revolutionary, transformative times, the world will benefit from our own commitment to curious openness. "Maybe yes, maybe no." The mind will always want to find safety in an assured interpretation and outcome.?And no matter what we do, there is never (ever) this assurance.?Maybe, just maybe that’s actually really good news!

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Peggy McAllister?is?CEO, Founder and Chief Mischief Maker for?Essential Leadership LLC,?and supports leaders and organizations engaged in creating products, services and?experiences that support their highest visions for what is possible. www.essentialeadership.net

The RETURN to WHOLENESS?Retreats?for purpose-driven leaders and coach/consultants will be offered again in Fall, 2023.?If you are interested in learning more, click on the link above or contact me directly [email protected].