The Wisdom of Knowing Yourself

“ Know yourself they say

And don’t be led astray

but how can I know who I am

When I’m different everyday

Some days I am the smart one

With the answers people need

and some days I’m the strong one

standing up to take the lead.

On other days I’m sure

that if the wind blew me too hard

I would shatter like a glass

Into a million tiny shards.

And on those days I cower

and I hide out from the world

waiting on my inner child

to blossom and unfurl.

And each day I’m surprised

by the newness that I see

the things I’m finding out

the complexity of me.

So how to know yourself

when you’re all things rolled in one?

you simply must decide

to love whatever you become.”

~ Donna Ashworth

Aristotle said, “knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”

Then why don’t we spend more time on this?

Maybe because it’s hard work….it requires constant self-awareness and self-consciousness….which really means to examine your behaviour, your actions and your beliefs.

Many think it’s a waste of time and possibly something that makes us uncomfortable so we’d rather avoid it! And we turn to a world overrun with information….a social media frenzy that erodes our sense of self-identity.

The more time we spend out there the more they shape our thoughts and actions.

That is what stops us from knowing who we are.

Ultimately it’s because we don’t know our own sense of worth and we aren’t sure of what we should value in the outside world as well. So we’re at the judgement and mercy of others , who decide how worthy we are and we find ourselves helpless in the face of public opinion…and the praise of the audience we’re surrounded by. So, quite unwisely, we surrender to popular belief and social whims rather than consider our own discernment.

The truth is that our identity is built and secured in early childhood when our parents, caretakers and teachers help us form an image of ourselves, so that our delicate self-esteem can grow and flourish.

Of course that is an ideal situation….most times our caretakers aren’t capable of the self-care needed so that they can share that well-being with their kids. When we grow up not being seen in our wholeness we are not sure how to exist, we fail to see our intrinsic worth and cannot rely on our own perceptions.

Quite logically we believe that our parents and teachers know more than we do and we succumb to their judgements….

“Why don’t you study as hard as your brother?” Or “See how your sister plays the piano, why aren’t you interested?”

And we begin to doubt our strengths, even doubting if we have any!

Many of us haven’t received the nurturing and validation in our growing up years….but there’s always a start, with the help of another, a counsellor, a therapist, a coach, someone who mirrors us properly, clarifies our wants and desires and helps us understand how we really feel.

We can then start to be on our own side and begin to trust ourselves and realize that we are in possession of our own growth. We will finally travel on the road to befriend who we really are….to truly knowing ourselves.

The inspiration for this piece came from The School of Life series. They have worded it so well and I couldn’t have said it much better.

Cheers!

Until next time….

Ritu Malhotra

[email protected]