Wirral divorce solicitor Tracey Miller Family Law’s guide to communicating with your ex during a divorce
Divorce is never easy, but it doesn’t have to descend into all-out war. In fact, it is possible to have an amicable, responsible and grown-up divorce, where both parties do what needs to be done without falling out.
The problem is that during such an emotionally charged time, with sensitive issues like children and finances at stake, it’s so very easy to say the wrong thing or call your ex in a moment of anger.
Here’s Wirral divorce solicitor Tracey Miller’s guide to communicating with your ex during a divorce and hopefully avoiding conflict wherever possible…
1. Never speak to your spouse when emotional or angry
In these heated moments, it’s easy to say something you regret. Treat any communications with your ex as you would a particularly inflammatory email at work – step away, take a deep breath and the time to think about your response before replying. Avoid calling your ex when you’re upset or angry, or making any big decisions about the divorce in these emotional moments. You need to be calm, rational and mature in order to navigate the process unscathed.
2. Stay off social media
Many people use Facebook, Twitter or Instagram to vent their feelings, especially during a difficult time such as a divorce. Remember though that your posts could be misinterpreted, as well as potentially breaching the confidentiality of your ex-partner if you reveal any details of the divorce case. It’s best to stay off social media and vent to friends and family in person instead.
3. Be careful with written communication
Just like with social media, it’s possible for texts, emails and other written communication to be misconstrued. You can’t always judge tone or the intention of the person with written communications, making misunderstandings a real risk.
4. Make use of your divorce solicitor
There are two very useful ways your divorce solicitor can help you manage communications with your former spouse. The first is to act as a sounding board, in case you aren’t sure whether or not you should say or do something. The second is to communicate on your behalf. Your divorce lawyer can negotiate, placate and communicate for you, often very efficiently. Crucially, this can remove the emotion from potentially explosive situations.
5. Focus on one issue at a time
If you need to sort out finances or arrangements for the children, focus on one specific issue at a time. Don’t get dragged into an all-encompassing discussion or argument about multiple contentions issues – just deal with one issue at a time.
6. If you have children together, do all you can to remain civil and cooperative
It’s very tough and can seem impossible when you can’t agree or your ex isn’t cooperating, but it’s important. Exercise every bit of your self-control and ability to compromise, to find the best solution with your ex for the sake of the children. Take the higher ground, do lots of ‘counting to ten’ and remain calm even when provoked – it’ll be worth it in the end!
Remember – if you need expert legal advice, Wirral divorce solicitors Tracey Miller Family Law are here to help. Please get in touch and tell us what’s going on, and we’ll provide sound, practical advice you can trust.
This article was first published at Tracey Miller Family Law.