WIP: Self improvement

I started reading books meaningfully only after my teens. Yes, I used the word meaningfully, as I used to read books more from an outcome of finishing reading a book, than to really read and understand what is the author conveying. They say AWARENESS PRECEDES CHANGE and so was the case with me. One day while in college, one of my classmate enquired whether I finished a book that I was reading then. And I casually nodded and said : "Haan, Kabka ho gaya read karke..." , He was completely surprised with my answer. He said "ooo, I take a lot of time to read and reflect on what the author is saying". Seems so simple, isnt it ? then why did it not occur to me. A lot of you reading this may feel this as a very trivial thing , but here is a shout out to a very few who may be not be aware of this HABIT and may be reading books after books only to fill up those book shelves or may be making notes, which we may never refer back . And Yes, now I read slow and try and make meaning of most of what I read.

As I completed my post grads and gradually moved from reading fiction to self-improvement books, I realized that it was more crucial than ever to take a pause and reflect on what I have read. Else it was just knowledge on the frameworks and jargons that one would carry without getting to practice the same and get better to be the best version of oneself.

Here is my take on one of the books that I have read and the 5 key lessons which I am trying to introspect, reflect and practice:

The title goes as Who will cry when you die by Robin Sharma : Not sure how many of us have heard about this book, as when I discussed with few colleagues and friends, I realized that Robin's other 2 books are more famous than this one. I like this one because this has 100 short pieces of advice/life lessons with 1 to 2 pages on each of those that one can read and reflect. When I am in need of some wisdom and some introspection I pick this up and open a page to check myself how am I placed on that piece. Few ones which resonate with me and which I tried/trying to implement are

"Cure your monkey mind" : And indeed I must submit that I had one and still to some extent this is WIP. I am one of those who constantly checks inbox and cant keep any unread mails in the inbox. As soon as I see a notification, no matter what I am working on, I jump to my outlook to check on it. One of the ways to work around this which I have picked from my former team members is to have dedicated time slot of the day to check mails and respond. May be once in an hour or 2 hours as comfortable. More importantly this gives me an opportunity to practice mindfulness (Easier said than done though, as I juggle between my morning meetings/ my breakfast and my daughters school). But whenever I turn to this page of the book today, I know I am travelling a journey from a proud multi-tasker to a practicing focused reader.

"Write Thank You Notes" : Each one of whom we come across in our life knows something that we may not know. Every interaction is an opportunity to learn something new. And the simplest of gesture to acknowledge someone who has contributed or reached out to you is to say a THANK YOU. Yes, there are other pressing things at any point in time, but a sincere THANK YOU note written helps to build and strengthen those relationship with people. Must acknowledge here that one of my ex-colleague has actually spent time crafting individual thank you notes to each of the team members, just before moving on to a new organization. It was an absolute delight to read a personalized mail talking about the contribution and the learnings that I had made to the team. A simple gesture, but kept me pondering the time invested in crafting each of those personalized e-mails.

"Enjoy the path, not just the reward" : Of course achieving goals is important, and having arrived at the desired point makes us happy. But equally important is to enjoy the process and the journey because as we go though it, we grow through it : we become better person/ wiser leader/ better parent and in all better humans/individuals. So while we wait for the rewards at the end of the road, it would be nice to celebrate the journey of becoming the better person as well. P.S : In the process of learning to play the Violin, I enjoy those strings and bows screech at times, reminding me that only practice can make me perfect; still playing the Komal Re instead of normal Re, reminding me to appreciate the finer nuances of music and life, and still learning to tune my violin on my own, reminding me that its never too late to start something that you are passionate about learning. All this in the process towards one day to play the song that comes to my mind without having to refer the notes :)

"Get Good at Asking" : Yes, the Hindi equivalent of " Poochne mei Kya jata hai". And I still remember my B-school days where our beloved TG sir used to keep saying ASK WHY to encourage us to ask questions. This technique actually opens up the mind to newer insights and dimensions which probably would be missed or an assumption would have been made. I was in 2 minds whether to have a candid conversation with my then boss for my promotion as I was not sure how this would be perceived. And when I reached out to my mentor, who mentioned this to me that if you don't ask anyways its a no, so rather Ask: atleast there is a chance that it may turn out the way you wanted or atleast if it doesnt, you now have clarity and can plan next steps. I did go ahead to have this conversation, and that gave me a lot of clarity to plan my next steps and in the process built confidence to have such conversations.

"Decompress before you go home" : In one of the workshops that we attended, the presenter closed the session by saying " Before you ring the bell of your home, take a deep breath and forget all the worries and frowns and then ring the bell. Its important to remember that our family members, friends, children also need our time and they may be waiting for us just to arrive back to have some fun moments or just to spend the time together" Resonates completely with me. Many a times I have carried my frown back home, only to witness the gentle smile of my family or my daughter waiting to play an indoor hide and seek or popping some of her favorite bubble game. So as I walk towards my apartment, have made a practice to snooze my thoughts about work until the next working day and enjoy the precious moments with all the near and dear ones.

These are just a few nuggets that deeply resonated and impacted me positively. With this note, I want to reach out to someone who just had to read something like this today or has been looking for some self-improvement books to start with. Happy to hear any thoughts or comments on this write-up.