Winning Friends and Influencing People

BECOME A FRIENDLIER PERSON

• Don't criticise, condemn or complain all the time
• Give honest and sincere appreciation 
• Arouse in the other person an eager want (know what you want, work out what people want and work out how to get both your needs met)
• Become genuinely interested in other people 
• Smile (smiling will make you happy just as being happy will make you smile)
• Remember that a person's name is to that person the most important sound in any language (try to use people’s names as much as possible during conversations)
• Be a good listener and encourage others to talk about themselves 
• Make the other person feel important - and do so sincerely

?WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING

•  Show respect for the other person's opinions and avoid saying “You're wrong” (rather say, “here is evidence that says otherwise”)
•  If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically 
•  Begin conversations in a friendly manner (as opposed to what? Sure, I guess! etc)
• Let the other person do a great deal of the talking and verify at regular intervals whether you and the other person are still on the same page (use the power of listening to your advantage – this will give you more information and insight into any situation that will allow you to think and craft a response that will lead you closer to the results you are seeking)
•  Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers (the best way to achieve this is by incorporating elements of the other person’s ideas into the solution you propose)
•  Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view (seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another and feeling with the heart of another)
•  Be sympathetic towards the other person's ideas and desires
•  Use Storytelling to obtain buy-in (telling stories is one of the most powerful means that leaders have to influence, teach, and inspire and what makes it so effective is the fact that storytelling forges connections among people and between people and ideas)

Author: Nadia Martins, NDJ Consultants / MPowrMe

www.ndjconsultants.co.za / www.mpowrme.co.za