Winning the Fight

Two boxers in a ring are fighting each other with great energy and enthusiasm. Within a short period of time they begin to feel the stress and strain of the game in every muscle of their being. Sweat covers their bodies, making their skin glisten in the bright lights of the fighting arena.

"Clang!" A bell rings loudly. It is the end of the round. A few minutes of time are given so the fighters can refresh themselves and focus their attention on what they need to do to win this fight. "Clang!" goes the bell. The fight begins anew. The pace is intense until "POW", the winning punch is landed and the "Winner" is declared.

We are very much like these boxers in our everyday life. However, our fighting ring is our brain and the boxers are the attitudes of "I Can" versus "I Can't"; "I'm Afraid" versus "I'm Courageous"; "What If" versus "Who Cares"; "I'm Good" versus "I'm Not So Good"; "I'm Lovable" versus "No One Wants Me"; "Take A Risk" versus "Not Take A Risk". Unlike boxers who have their fights scheduled, we put ourselves into the boxing ring of mental wars every day. We battle ourselves frequently but how often, in the process of the mental conflict, do we sound the 'bell' to refresh ourselves, gain perspective and reorient our thinking strategy?

Recently a client came to see me, highly stressed and concerned about an imminent negative condition. Fear had this individual by the mental throat and was strangling the very life out of them. This person was scared about being alone, loss of finances, and their age and just about everything else you could imagine. Anger and resentment added energy to the conflicts within them. The sad effect was they were losing their battle and were almost flat on the floor in the final emotional count. Beating oneself to a pulp, to the best of my knowledge, rarely accomplishes anything. It blinds us to the truth of what we really need to see.

If we can't perceive clearly what is in front of us how can we know how to deal with it? Here are some of the suggestions I shared with my client and perhaps you may find them useful when conflicts enter your life.

1. Have a pad of paper and pen.

2. Write out the fear (or fears) in big letters at the top of the page

3. Now write out the worst case scenario you can possibly imagine that can happen. Write out everything you feel. Let the pen be your intimate expresser of your true concerns.

4. After Step 3, take another sheet of paper and put in capital letters "ACTION STEPS". Review your written words about your worst fears are, then ask yourself – what action can I take to turn things around?

5. Review what action steps you've written then make a plan to start doing them. You may not do all of them at once but who cares? This is your experience, your choice(s). Action begets more action, which in turn will produce results.

6. Final Step. Relax and be at peace with yourself. Understand that these boxing matches are necessary for your growth and development as an individual. Everyone has them but you will come out as a champion when you know you can choose your strategy and fight for yourself to win the 'Success' you desire.

The next time you find yourself in the Mental Madison Square Garden Boxing Ring and the bell sounds its loud "Clang" for stress, hassle and self-recrimination, - "STOP". Set up your plan, then go into the ring, giving your best effort with as many 'punches of action' you can muster.

Perhaps you'll have to fight a number of rounds but if you keep up with your plans for action, changing them if necessary, the moment will come when you will defeat your adversary, "fear", with one 'knock out punch' and see yourself as a "Winning Champion". What will your reward be? It will be the personal badge of accomplishment, strong self-esteem, belief in your talents and the satisfaction that you gave your best, winning over odds that seemed insurmountable.