Winning Alone Is Not Winning

“As much as building, scaling, and exiting your business is exciting — what’s significantly more important is who you become in the process. Because when you have your exit, if your spouse hates you, your kids don’t know you, and you have an autoimmune disease from grinding too hard — you failed!” - Jared Yellin

I had a call recently with a potential capital partner who made a comment…

“When I call any of the founders of companies I invested in, I expect them to answer at any time and any day.”

When he made this comment, my response was…

“Well, I am probably not the right founder for you because at 5 pm ET each day, I am a dad until 8 pm, and then I am a husband until 9 pm, and I am in the gym by 5 am (latest), and all of those things will come before me as a Founder but they are also the reason why I am such a great Founder.”

The misconception that the only way to win in business is to compromise every other area of your life is a big, fat lie, and it’s the reason why you will never win, AND it’s also why you will be alone and suffer.

The grind no matter what mentality, is absolutely a fallacy, and my commitment to my quest to do what has never been done is to prove – YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL!

YES, we will build, scale, and exit 10,000+ SaaS companies.

YES, we will launch a network of 100s of innovation hubs.

YES, I will never miss a sporting event, dance recital, back-to-school night, family event, birthday party, etc.

YES, I will make sure my wife and I keep our flame burning through eternity.

YES, I will work out 7 days each week to ensure my body is operating optimally.

YES, I will give my core team the attention they need to grow on all levels.

YES, I will be a dear friend to those who have needs.

This is called AND versus OR because what the “gurus” are telling you is that you must pick and choose what you are able to accomplish, and if you choose your family, you will be broke.

I call B-FREAKIN-S!

Whether you pick and choose from your list of values, you end up living a valueless life.

The only contrary to this is if you are not married and don’t have kids, then YES, you can be more swayed in business (and your health), but use business as a path to create FREEDOM so that by the time you are married and with children you have nothing holding you back from your ALL!

STOP Flexing Pictures On Social Media Just To Look Like You Care

Just the other day, I saw someone posting on social media about his family, and I am not here judging at all, but he was flexing his family like he flexes his houses and cars.?

It irked me to no end because your family absolutely needs to be the focal point of everything you do – NOT a freakin marketing hook to look like a legitimate human when in reality, you are an absent person in your home.

I also believe that the opposite is needed more…

More moms and dads need to show how they HAVE IT ALL to combat the ridiculous FLEXES on social of cars, watches, mansions, etc.

What matters more than any material thing is how significant your family feels.?

I am often asked, “Why 10,000 tech companies?” and my response is very intentional.

I could easily have 100 SaaS exits over the next 30 years. No one would question that target, and it would make me a very wealthy man, BUT…

It would not change anything.

People would still think they need to pick and choose between success and family…

People would still prioritize the grind versus family game night…

People would still take unnecessary business trips because “99% of success is just showing up…”

So, the reason I am committed to 10,000 is because I believe that’s the tipping point to create a NEW STANDARD in entrepreneurship where innovators are praised FIRST for how they show up at home and then praised for their impact in business.

It’s time people realize – YOUR ALL is not only within reach. It’s just one decision away!

6 Ways To Ensure Your Family WINS With You

1. Set Family Targets + Visit Them Weekly

What gets measured will almost always get done, which is why - as a family - you need targets.

Date night

Yes days

Adventures

Dinners together

Baths

Bedtime routine

Surprises

Money

Etc.

Set family targets and visit them weekly so your entire unit can see where your family is on the continuum to accomplishing all of the established goals.

And make sure - as a family - you crush your goals.

I mean complete domination of whatever it is that you committed to because your kids will now have a baseline of what’s normal – WINNING AS A UNIT!

2. Know The Pain Tolerance Of Your Partner

This is a huge lesson for me because I have an insane pain tolerance when it comes to challenges, unknown, pressure, stress, etc., and my wife - although powerful beyond measure - does not perform optimally in trying environments.

So…

I don’t isolate her NOR do I force her to immerse in things that I am able to completely handle.

And the same holds true for her with me.

I don’t do anything administrative. I don’t sign checks. I don’t pay bills. I don’t put things in the mailbox. And this is not a sign of arrogance - at all - rather, it’s just something I don’t do, but my wife happily does because her pain tolerance for administrative tasks is far greater than mine.

This is what we call an unshakeable couple!

3. Celebrate the Wins Together?

I know far too many entrepreneurs who go out and celebrate their WINS over a beer with their team and friends, but they neglect to invite their family.

I see it the other way around…

I am going to go out and celebrate with my family and invite my team to join as well.

My family comes first – always, period, end of story.

Which means I will plan celebrations around what works for them versus having the celebration and it not working, so they are not present.

I want my unit to see and experience our wins and know they played a vital, vital vital role in the manifestation of our outcomes because they are my driving force to never stop until we get the job done.

4. Enroll Your Partner In Solution Dialogue

My kids are too young to have them fully involved with Solution Dialogue - although I do invite my daughter (7 years old) to share her thoughts on specific matters, my wife is an excellent solution dialoguer, and I value her insight.

By enrolling her in these strategic conservations, she has a sense of contribution and belonging, which are two of the basic human needs that every person strives for.

And it’s imperative that when your spouse is engaged in these conversations that he/she feels heard, and you are not dismissing their ideas simply because “you know better.”

Keep an open-mind because, usually, the greatest solutions will come from the people who are not as close to the current challenge but care as much as you do about finding a solution.

5. Make Sure Your Values Are Spoken + Executed On

NEVER keep your values a secret.

Your family unit must HEAR and also SEE and also FEEL that they are your number one priority.

By doing this, your actions that don’t directly involve them will ensure they feel important, significant, and loved at all times.

The only time a family unit feels like they are an afterthought is when they don’t HEAR, SEE, or FEEL important.?

This is such an easy step, but it does require awareness and intentionality to ensure it happens – daily.

Your family should NEVER forget how vital they are in your world.?

6. Get Hyper Clear on Your Family Brand Before Your Personal Brand or Business Brand

People spend countless hours and dollars on their personal and business brands but never even think for a moment about their family brand.

Well, guess what…

Your family brand takes precedence over your personal and business brand and will drive the success and clarity of those other decisions once fully baked and established.

What does your family stand for?

What motivates and drives your family?

What are the goals and aspirations of your family?

What are your family values?

What are your family's non-negotiables?

All of these questions and more must be answered by your family unit and then lived out loud!

Now What?

Do what you want with this article, but I can’t even begin to tell you how critical it is that you STOP listening to these absurd gurus who tell you your kids will appreciate your grind once they get older.

NO, THEY WON’T!

They will only think it’s normal to miss every meaningful event, every bedtime, every dinner, everything that actually matters and then the terrible cycle continues of absent parents and partners.

There is NOTHING that brings more joy than being PRESENT with your greatest GIFTS.

Your significant other

Your kids

Your health

And when you learn that ALL is a choice - you will make more money, create more impact, and be the spouse and parent that your other half and kids deserve.

But here’s why this is absolutely essential…

Your kids will model what they see and experience.

If you are absent - that becomes normal - and it gives them permission to be absent as well.

AND…

The freakin cycle continues.

But…

What if it ended because you decided that anything less than ALL was not enough?

What if it ended because you committed to showing your entire unit how much you care?

What if it ended because you demolished every personal and professional goal?

But like everything…

This is a choice and for your sake. I hope you choose wisely.

I am here always. You got this!

Live with Intention,

JY