#Winners and #Losers: Borderline Problems

The Week in Embassies Opening in Jerusalem

Winner: Guatemala—two days after the US moved its embassy to Jerusalem, Guatemala followed suit. Given the international outcry, criticism and violence that accompanied the US move, this was a low-lift way for Guatemala to get on the US’s good side, on whom it depends for hundreds of millions each year in foreign aid. #HazGuatmalaGrandeOtraVez

Loser: Palestinians—more than 60 killed. Thousands injured. No matter where you come down on Trump’s decision to move the US embassy to Jerusalem, one thing is certain; the Palestinian cause has now officially become hopeless. Plenty of folks to blame (Palestinian Authority, Hamas, Israel, Europe, UN, US...), but that doesn’t make solving the problem any easier. #TheSufferingEither

The Week in Legislature Insults

Winner: UK’s House of Lords—voted down UK Prime Minister Theresa May’s Brexit bill this week… for the 15th time. #ComeOnLuckyNumber16

Loser: Madrid’s Government—after dissolving Catalan’s regional government and chasing its former leader Carles Puigdemont into hiding (he’s currently in Berlin), Spain’s government is rewarded this week by the Catalan parliament voting in Qui3 Torra as president… who’s another hardline Catalan separatist. #DiaDeLaGroundhog

The Week in Politicians Behind the Wheel

Winner: Turkmen president Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov—while taking an on-site briefing from his interior minister on the preparations for a car rally (as one does), Berdimuhamedov miraculously discovers that his BMW was stage-ready and eligible to compete. He then beat a professional driver on the lap by 12 seconds. #TurkmenistanDrift

Loser: Russian President Vladimir Putin—to inaugurate the $4 billion bridge connecting Russia to Crimea, Putin hopped into an orange dump truck and drove the 12 miles over the Black Sea’s Kerch Strait while all the cameras rolled. And all it cost him was his country’s international reputation and billions of rubles worth of sanctions. To top it all off, a saxophone rendition of the “Rocky” theme song blared while he was addressing spectators. #MixedMessages

The Week in Drugs: Eastern Europe Edition

Winner: Kanepi, Estonia—the town of Kanepi held an online contest to determine what its emblem should be, and in an entirely predictable outcome, a cannabis leaf won. Jokes on you, internet: “kanep” stands for cannabis in Estonian, and hemp is one of the town’s traditional crops. #NowFreeBoatyMcBoatface

Loser: Georgia—following a Friday night raid on two clubs in Tbilisi, protestors gathered over the weekend to demand the legalization of recreational drugs. Under threat of water cannons, they were quickly disbanded. Pick your battles, people. #GiveUsLibertyOrEx

The Week in Real Estate & Politics

Winner: Jared Kushner—the long-running saga of Kushner-owned 666 Fifth Avenue (purchased for a record-setting $1.8 billion back in 2008) looks to be coming to an end as Brookfield Asset Management (whose largest investor is the Qatar Investment Authority) is poised to bail out the distressed building. Of course, that raise a host of other questions, but a win’s a win. #OneProblemAtATime

Loser: Chinese and South Korean Speculators—properties on the border with North Korea have seen a marked uptick in values as investors bet on a coming diplomatic thaw with Pyongyang. That’s a big bet. #RiskyBusiness  

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Ian Bremmer is president of Eurasia Group, foreign affairs columnist at TIME and Global Research Professor at New York University. You can follow him on Twitter and Facebook.