The Windows of the Soul

When you meet someone and ask them how they are, what do they say 99% of the time? “Fine.” It is a courtesy response, I suppose, but I wonder what they would do if you just opened up and spilled the beans about all the drama in your life. LOL. They would probably get a shocked look on their face and then start looking for the closest exit.

I love to study people. One thing I have noticed is that very often when someone says “Fine” their eyes betray what is really going on with them. Looking someone in the eye helps gauge if they are being truthful or not. Of course, there are pathological liars that can look you right in the eye and lie to you without blinking. I am not talking about them. With those people their history is a better indicator of what they are saying than their words or their eyes.

When I first met my wife, I was captivated by her. She had me at “Hello.” LOL. She batted those big brown eyes at me and I just melted like butter. Her eyes were and still are captivating to me. When I look into them now, I can see so many facets of who she is…and just like a diamond, they are beautiful.

On the flip side I have talked to people who are in great pain internally and it is so evident to me…despite the “Fine” from their lips and the smile on their face. Their eyes tell the tale they cannot conceal.

I have to admit it bothers me when people won’t look me in the eyes. I tell kids regularly, “Look at me when you are talking to me.” Now with the distraction of cell phones, looking someone in the eye can be challenging to say the least.

Next time you are talking with someone look them in the eyes. It shows respect to them and demonstrates that you are really interested in what they have to say. If you really want to know who they are, look through the windows of their soul.

Shalom!

Dan Skognes