Win against low self-esteem

To define self-esteem, you need to realise that different people attain validation in different ways. What gives a meaning to your self-esteem would not necessarily invoke the sense of fulfilment in someone else. I recently came across a book by Dr. Nathaniel Branden named, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem. In the book, Dr. Branden talks about 6 pillars of self-esteem that works as a road map to achieving the highest peak of self-esteem in one's life. Let me break down these pillars for your better understanding.

1. The practice of living consciously: This pillar focuses on your ability to live consciously in the moment. We often get too caught up trying to reach our goals that we forget how to stop and smell the flowers. Here Dr. Branden talks about practicing the art of living consciously to attain self-esteem. Being present in the moment is a present to you.

2.           The Practice of self-acceptance: If you don't accept yourself as you are, you can never win the battle against self-esteem. The biggest problem most people face now is they keep comparing their journey with others and if that is something you do too, you need to stop, and start accepting yourself right from this moment. Remember, you and others are like pages of a book and every page has a different story to tell.

3.           The practice of self-responsibility: We become a judge to others, and lawyers for ourselves. Learn to take responsibility for your actions and own up to your mistakes. The person who makes a mistake is not wrong but the person who can't accept his mistake is wrong. People with high self-esteem have no problem taking responsibility for their actions.

4.           The practice of self-assertiveness: You need to be able to stand up for your own and other people's rights in a calm and composed manner without being aggressive. Self- assertive people are the master of handling a critical situation in a positive way.

5.           The practice of living purposefully: Like the saying goes, “a life without any purpose is like a ship without a captain. If no one takes charge of it, it won't go anywhere.” No matter what you do in life, always have a purpose and keep your eyes fixed at your destination. You will reach there surely.

6.           The practice of personal integrity: Personal integrity is perhaps the most integral part of successful leadership. Integrity means telling the truth even if it is ugly. And when one decides to break free from the concept of sugar-coating and accept life as it is, they will get closer to reality.

Lastly, all it comes down to is how you direct your life. You have to ask yourself that how confident you feel that you can create a purposeful life for yourself and handle things in a deserving way. Self-esteem is not an unattainable skill. It just needs dedication, persistence and patience. With a blend of all these, I can assure you that things will work in your favour, just don't give up.

This write up was first published in The Daily Star.