Willing to Embrace Your Purpose?

I had the opportunity to be a part of a social experiment entitled the “100 Connections Project” that just ended today. Writer Matt Hampton set out on July 23, 2018, to have coffee with one hundred people in as many days and see if it was possible to form authentic connections with folks that for the most part, he had never met before. I was his Day 14 connection.

The first time I heard of Matt was through LinkedIn when he announced his project. I thought it was an intriguing idea, yet I wasn’t sure of his angle. Then my good friend and colleague, Thomas Heath, suggested that I meet up with him to see what happens. Could this guy Matt Hampton just be looking for the next 100 suckers for a multi-level sales program? Well, of course not. Thomas would never have referred me to meet with him without some level of trust.

One of the essential areas of development that I teach about when I travel the globe speaking about Talent Retention through Practical Leadership is the formation of trust. I believe that when trust is “given away” during an initial introduction, it creates the first bond of a relationship. That act establishes the foundation of what you will “earn to keep” as this interconnection develops.

 “Meeting people is like a mortgage. You don't pay it off the first month."

 That quote from my coffee with Matt on August 5th is how he led off his blog in writing about our encounter. What I mean is that building relationships with people is like paying your mortgage; you do it with one payment at a time over many years. No one expects to pay it off with the first check. It’s a process.

What I loved about my first meeting with Matt was the informality of gathering. There was no pretense, no overt rushing to get to a point. We met at a local coffee shop and enjoyed a dark-roasted brew and a sweet treat topped off with great conversation. No notebook opened, no pen in hand... Just two guys drinking coffee. Both of us recognized each other, and neither of us needed a “Hello, my name is” label.

During the first few minutes, we talked about our families, our past, military connections, and Charleston. The dialogue easily ebbed and flowed between sharing stories of what made us who we are today. Moments of laughter and serious discussion were intertwined to form one powerful connection.

Two of my favorite topics were infused throughout our conversation: Purpose and Passion. To me, they go together like salt and pepper, Yin and Yang, Hepburn and Tracy (for you Baby Boomers), Prince Harry and Meghan (for you Gen Y’ers.)

Matt listened intently to my story about my childhood and why I am so committed to developing young professionals to become our next generation of leaders. Then, I took a breath, sipped my cup of joe and asked him this question: “What brings you joy in life?” After several rounds of verbal Yahtzee, the victorious answer emerged. But did the player know he had indeed thrown the winning combination of the dice?

Each time Matt spoke about writing, his eyes glistened, his shoulders raised and I could feel a cadence in his words that brought a smile to my face. It did not take Sherlock Holmes to know Matt has a tremendous passion for writing.

We talked for a while about another of my beliefs: Passion is about the emotional connection we have with an experience which is derived from what we love to do. Our purpose is the “what” we do to bring meaning to our lives.

Whether figuratively or literally, at that moment in the conversation, Matt “wrote down” that his purpose is to write. His writings are about him connecting people and experiences to the reader. He gets great joy out of doing that, and it is why his passion will sustain him throughout the fulfillment of his purpose. If you know this truth about purpose and ground yourself in that belief, it will drive you to the finish line despite whatever adversities you may face in the race.

As we further explored Matt’s purpose to be a Writer, his biggest fear emerged: Not being good enough. As I looked across the table filled with leftover remnants of caffeine and pastry crumbs, some words of wisdom from my mother came to mind… The truth is in the “I am,” not in the “Someday I will be.”

Matt deserved to claim right now that he was a good writer. There was no waiting for tomorrow, because that may never come. He doesn’t need to wait for some magnanimous recognition or positive critique to know that he is good enough. His power in fulfilling his purpose in life begins when he says so. Every word he speaks now and in the future gets to support his journey. The question is whether he is willing to embrace that purpose?

We give life to what we speak. Build people up. Build yourself up. Encourage all. When you share words of affirmation, you never have to worry about being misquoted. Speak life to the “I am “and let the “someday I may be good enough” die a quick death.

Matt Hampton deserves to embrace his purpose as a Writer. He gets to write down “I am a great writer.” on a Sticky Note and put it on his bathroom mirror and repeat those words daily. Because each time he does, Matt continues his journey to be the victor of both his present and his future. He gets to be the great writer he is destined to be.

Are you running away from your real purpose because you’re scared you’re not good enough? Maybe it’s time to put that fear aside and embrace your purpose? It all starts with the willingness to believe. It all starts right here, right now. Go declare it. Go embrace your purpose and never look back.

To learn more about the leadership values that can positively impact your team and create a Cohesion Culture??, connect with Dr. Troy here.

Dr. Troy Hall is the Chief Strategy Officer for South Carolina Federal Credit Union, a $1.8B financial cooperative with over 165,000 members. With a Ph.D. in Global Leadership and Entrepreneurship, Dr. Troy has earned the designation as an International Development Educator. As the author of Cohesion Culture: Proven Principles to Retain Top Talent, his book showcases how and why South Carolina Federal Credit Union has been named a “Best Places To Work” by Glassdoor, the Credit Union Industry, and state of South Carolina.