Widowhood is Re-Invention

Hello friend,

yesterday I spent a VIP Day with one of my clients - and I was reminded of?a very moving and intense piece by Alisha Bozarth about "Widowhood" that somebody shared in?my movement?a while ago.

Back then I sat with it for a while. I noticed when reading it,?how many filters my brain automatically switched on.?How everything inside of me wanted to shift perspectives, decide to?go into healing rather than hurt...

With a whole lot of respect and the biggest filter of "Loving Life after Loss" put on this very piece, I dared to share it - the feedback was overwhelming... I'm glad I shared.

Today I am sharing it again and invite you to drop any potential judgement; open your heart and mind - and read this...

I am not saying this is easy to digest or allow in. I also understand that each of the following paragraphs takes time to absorb. Yet I'm encouraging you to look at this as a?healing alternative?to what society currently suggests how we deal with grief.

If it even just helps?one?of you, my job here is done, my heart is filled with contentment and I am overflowing with gratitude... Here it is -?my?version of?Widowhood:

"Widowhood is more than just pain and losing your spouse. It is an opportunity to an alternate life. It is growing through adversity.

Widowhood is going to bed and learning to embrace the stillness around you (sometimes even enjoying that bit of extra space that used to represent emptiness in those first intense times). Getting to know yourself within the solitude.

The night brings silence and a space to listen within, when all the drowning noise around you stops.

Widowhood is walking around the same house you have lived in for years and recreating space, colours and maybe even adjusting furniture to make it your home, suitable to your new situation. Because the home you had so far was created by a combination of you & him. And then they’re not there. Now it’s time to look within, allow yourself and dare to choose something different and new - maybe even something he wouldn’t have chosen!

Widowhood is looking at all your dreams and plans you shared as a couple from your new and current perspective - it’s a chance to check in with yourself "Do I still want this?" "Would I still want to choose this, now, on my own?".

Finding excitement in the process of searching for new dreams that involve simply you, are endless. And every small victory of creating new dreams for yourself beholds a hidden gift in adversity - something you might have never looked at before.

Widowhood is rediscovering everything you?thought?you knew about yourself. Your life had moulded together with another’s and without them, you are invited to relearn all your likes, hobbies, fears, goals. The renaissance of that new you might scare you, but make you proud simultaneously.

Widowhood is being a stranger in your own life. The unnerving feeling of watching yourself from outside your body, going through the motions of what?was?your life, but being?detached?from it all. You don’t recognise yourself. Your previous life feels but like a vapor long gone, like a mist of a dream; you begin to wonder if it happened at all.

Widowhood is the irony of knowing if that one person was here to be your support, you also have the strength to grieve that person. It is an honour to carry forward his memories while learning to trust your inner guidance, listen to your inner voice…

You now have the challenging and empowering task of moving forward on your own.

Widowhood is despite missing the one person who could truly understand what is in your heart to share, to still share memories of his funny jokes, the embarrassing incident, the fear compelling you or the frustration tempting you. To anyone else, you would have to explain why you choose to see this as an opportunity rather than defeat… and that is too much effort, so you keep it to yourself. And the empowerment grows within you.

Widowhood is the opportunity to re-identify yourself.?Who are you when not their spouse? What else do you want to do than the things you planned together? What brand do you want to buy rather than the one you two shared for all those years? What is your purpose?now?that the energy you invested into your marriage is yours to spend on anything you choose? Who is my closest companion now, when my other half isn’t here?

Widowhood is feeling restless because you & your home now feel different - just like your identity and the meaning you had attached to your partner, lover, friend, playmate, travel companion, co-parent, security and life. And you are navigating to an unknown destination.

Widowhood is living in a constant state of reinvention.

With no hand to hold, nobody next to you by default and no partner to share your life, it is your choice to learn to walk again, confidently on your own. Choose wisely whose company you invite into your life.

Widowhood can be being alone in a crowd of people. Yet it doesn’t have to mean that you feel lonely - and it can even mean that you’re happy. Allowing yourself to feel alive. It is looking back and moving forward. It is being hungry and tasting new things. It is preparing differently for every special event and maybe even celebrating more, as we know how precious life is.

Yes. It is much more than what society makes it to be. It is becoming a new person, in a way that you choose to be. It is embracing every emotion mankind can feel at the very same moment and allowing yourself to function differently in life to what anyone expects.

Widowhood is delicate. Widowhood is strength. Widowhood is fertile. Widowhood is rebirth.

It is life-changing and brings choices that are only yours to make.

Widowhood is Re-Invention."

~ re-written by?Marie Alessi

I'm sending you so much Love x

Warmly

Marie

PS: I invite you to share this with anyone who could benefit from reading it or joining my Movement - repost, share, send it in private messages - the difference you can make in somebody's life could literally save somebody's life.