'Wiched

'Wiched

Sandwich Generation sand·wich gen·er·a·tion

/?san?(d)wiCH ?jen??rāSH?n/: a generation of people, typically in their thirties or forties, responsible for bringing up their own children and for the care of their aging parents.

Monday, March 14th, 03:45 ET.?

My 5 year-old daughter comes down and gets into bed with us. She is especially snuggly with me because she knows she won’t see me for a few days. It is a travel week and I will be at the HIMSS conference all week. I can’t back to sleep, but that’s ok- I am soaking up the love.?

From 6:30-8:30 we are making breakfast, coordinating (and negotiating) outfits and schedules. My daughter is off to school, I am in my office doing emails and plans for the week, and the timer is set until I head to the airport midday… need to finish packing, do my COVID test, and then make sure I have a time slot to call my parents and check on them- this is week 2 of home care helping my dad with my mom, who has dementia. This is a huge transition, but one we believe will be great for our family in this new phase.

By the time I arrive at the airport, my checklist looks good-

  • Ordered a tent for my daughter’s birthday (the weekend I return from work trip)
  • Ordered all goodie bags and food for party
  • Got a sub for my volunteer day at my son’s school that I will miss this week
  • Called my dad
  • Paid medical bills and prepped for health insurance change coming up
  • Coordinated accountant tax appointment- still pending, eek!
  • Work checklist (won’t tally that up)

Wheels up and away I go to 8-9 hours a day on the show floor in meetings, interviews, demonstrations.

Thursday, March 17th, 19:30 ET

  • 13,000 steps per day since arriving in Florida for HIMSS
  • 17 Uber rides
  • Over 100 handshakes or elbow bumps
  • 17 hour work days including breakfast meetings and dinners

By this time, I can take a shower, pack, and organize for the weekend coming up that will be all about my family. Ordering a cake, coordinating play dates, helping my in-laws (who live with us part time) with their schedule so they can maximize time with the kids, and ensuring a plan for my parents to visit without it being overwhelming or anxiety-ridden for my mom. I write my notes/cards for the day and watch a few reruns of the Golden Girls. By the time all of this happens it is nearly eleven and the alarm to head to the airport will sound in 8 hours- a perfect amount of time to get some much needed sleep.

Friday, March 18th, 11:00 ET

By this point in the week I am relaxed with my tasks, but now that I feel the let down from the work responsibilities, my stress increases with my parents. I have been away for a week. I have learned from practice the past few years that days with my parents are hard to mix with other things. I am still learning to live in the new world of a mom who no longer knows exactly who I am, but yet, still needs me.?This is especially hard because of the kind of mom she was when I was growing up. She was patient, she was funny, she was loved by the entire community, and the void of her old self is gaping. I am learning to balance the joy of kids, the appetite for success in work, and the compassion in my role as a caregiver.?

Another week in the journey and ever-learning.?

Julie Milner

MR Patient Care

2 年

Thanks for sharing. Some of this resonates with me so much... my parents are 90 (Dad) and 81 (Mom)... slowing down for sure, but still living in their home and spending the majority of the winter in Florida... (I know this is until they are unable to travel). You are a great Daughter, Wife, Mother, Employee... All Of It.

Theresa Burdette-Watkins

Retired and living my best life!

2 年

Thank you for sharing your story, Julie. Hugs to you and all the mom’s with similar stories.

回复
Mary Martin

Executive Assistant at Philips Healthcare

2 年

My heart is with you my friend. I am so glad your folks are close by and all signs tell me they have a wonderful relationship with your little family.

回复
Caitlin Marino

Owner at Raise the Vibration, LLC

2 年

Sending love to you and your mom ??????

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