Why you've been thinking about confidence all wrong

The main thing I've learnt about building confidence over the years isn't that it's about tricking yourself into believing in yourself, or magically changing how you think.

It's not something you can wait to come to you, either.

And it won't be built through seeking the validation of others.

Why?

Because confidence is found through ACTION.

When you start with the actions, build habits so that they're consistent and keep taking those actions then, over time, you will also build the mental foundations and your confidence will grow.

There's no magic want, or shortcut: it's something that takes time.

But it works.

If you've read any of my other content you'll know that my starting point was rock bottom confidence: I had no boundaries, no self-belief and I couldn't even look myself in the mirror or see myself in a photo without feeling shame.

It impacted every area of my life: work, relationships, wellbeing.

Slowly, VERY slowly, I began building confidence through the choices I made.

Solo travel, for example, really helped me to start trusting and believing in myself; if you've ever travelled solo you'll know that you have to problem-solve in a way that you've almost certainly never done before.

Same with the communities I've built, as I described in my last newsletter.

Work-wise, I pushed through the fear and discomfort of speaking in front of an audience and the more I did it, the more familiar and comfortable it became - and I thrived in that space.

I've also experimented with various habits and the two most powerful in helping be build confidence have been:

?? Keeping promises to myself: I started with a promise to drink a glass of water upon waking each day (it needs to be super small and attainable) and then tried to build from there. Keeping at least one promise to yourself daily helps you to build trust in, and develop respect for, yourself.

?? Gratitude practice: every night before I sleep I mentally list all the reasons I have to be grateful during that day. Some days it's hard to think of anything, but a good cup of coffee or the feeling of sunlight on my skin could be reasons and so it's always possible to think of at least one thing (ideally three or more is the aim). This helps to change your mindset. I don't like journalling but if you do, writing your gratitude list daily can be powerful.

Other techniques, like affirmations can help (it's why I developed an affirmations list especially for introverts) but these two habits have had the biggest impact.

It's not a linear process, and doing work on limiting beliefs etc is still necessary but when you build from strong foundations then you build something unshakeable.

And it's worth it!

I can honestly say my life has completely transformed from what it used to be and I couldn't even have imagined the life I have now as the person I was then.

So what have you got to lose? Start building those habits today.

Please feel free to share this newsletter (and the survey) with anyone it may help.

Thank you ??

Much love,

Sam

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That's why I'm asking you to please take five minutes to fill in this short survey - I'll be selecting a random winner for a FREE coaching session worth ￡500!

Thank you in advance; I appreciate you ????

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EXCITING NEWS!

I've been invited to speak at egg's Women on Top Summit, happening on 26th September at the Scottish Gas Murrayfield Stadium in Edinburgh. The theme of the summit, ‘Where Empowerment Meets Opportunity,’ promises a day filled with inspiration, growth, and unparalleled networking and I'm excited to be part of it.

You can find out more about it here.

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P.S.?Ways I can help you:

1. Download your FREE ebook, An Introvert's Guide to Escaping the 9 to 5 here to learn how to make money online, or build a side hustle, so that you can escape the 9 to 5.
2. Check out my digital products for introverts here. Some of them are FREE!
3. Sign up for my email newsletter for monthly inspiration here.
4. Book me for consultancy, training or a speaking opportunity here.
5. Follow me on TikTok to get inspiration on how to escape the 9-5 here.

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About Me

I'm Sam ? and I'm on a mission to change the workplace bias towards extroversion, to achieve greater, intersectional, inclusivity for introverts.

As well as help high achieving introverts to thrive without changing who they are.

Companies:

I offer consulting, training and coaching for DEI professionals, leaders/ managers and those involved in hiring.

I am also a keynote speaker.

p.s. I LOVE to travel ??

Introverts:

I can help you achieve your professional goals, feel confident in your introversion and be able to step into your power OR I can help you escape the 9-5 and achieve optimal wellbeing through financial freedom.

DM me for more information!