Why You’re Wrong in Being Always Right
Ashutosh Sharma
Vice President HR and CHRO - Bio Energy Business, Reliance Industries Ltd | Author | Brain-Based Coach | DCE | UCLA
Ok, let me use the word at least once. One who has an obsession for proving oneself right in every conversation is inevitably and clearly identified as a “Smart Ass (SA)” by peers, friends, and, hold your breath, even by one's own family members. Not ironically though, the need at the root of this behavior is to indeed appear smarter.
Anybody can have this obsession - male, female, boss, subordinate, consultant, client, peer. It's an inclusive trait that doesn't discriminate between artificial or natural boundaries. Perhaps, that's the reason that the work-place is checkered with people hell bent on showing off their superiority in conversations, meetings, and one on one conversations.
You know it already. But it won't hurt to discuss some give-aways of this consuming trait.
People see one as a SA when one:
- Doesn’t bother to provide a rationale or reason for one's point of view – Because one believes that one is better qualified than the rest
- Compulsively tells others that their ideas won’t work – Because, one always has the better idea
- Has been there and done that – Always!
- Stubbornly believes that one has the right answer to the most subjective of the topics
- Laughs-off emotions and sensitivities – quoting facts and figures
- Gives that self-congratulatory smirk after decimating the opponent with one's superior intelligence and watches him writhing on ground in utter humiliation
Try to Win Over People, Don’t Live to Defeat Them
So, what to do?
- Millionth time – Please don’t recite your academic qualifications or professional experience to put across a point! People still don’t believe that an Ivy league credential or experience with blue-chip companies make you omniscient
- For God’s sake – Listen to ideas! Give suggestions - if you have to – but don’t write others' off
- Be open minded – Others might have a different perspective of looking at things! It’s really not that difficult, if you give it a try
- Remember – For most of the things in life, there are no right answers
- Never Forget – Emotions are primary and facts secondary
- Consider this – You never win by defeating others in today’s world
Go Ahead – Try to Win Over People, Don’t Live to Defeat Them. You'd find it's a better way to live.
Early Childhood Educator
7 年Right that ?
Agree & So very true. I ended up in a similar situation recently. Later realised that I might have come across as a SA. But that was not the intent. Now the work relationship is strained. I would really like to know how does one go about pointing (i don't know if this is the right word) out a genuine error or issue - one that would probably impact the output - and which can be rectified, without coming across as a SA. Or do we keep quiet and let it slide? I am terribly confused and not sure how to deal with the situation..Just to add, I was not trying to comment on the person's capability or expertise.
Very well written !
Certified Finnish Language Teacher
8 年I thought the topic of the article was interesting but it seemed to end before it really started.