Why you're missing your goal-oriented deadlines

“I need a deadline/timeline!”

-Said by everyone who has ever had a big project or goal they're struggling to complete, even though it's never worked before

That's not to say deadlines aren't effective. Au contraire!

Deadlines can be very efficacious under the right conditions.

Here are some circumstances under which a deadline is (probably) effective in getting you moving:

• You work on your presentation because the entire invite list will see if you reschedule, and you boss will probably yell at you. It's last minute, but it gets done.
• You need to pay your electric bill by the 15th because if you don’t, they turn off your electricity.
• You get $250 back if you return that purse in the next 30 days, so you scramble to the post-office.

Notice all of these include external consequences: things happen when you do/do not do the thing and these consequences are not entirely within your control.

But many of you are trying to use deadlines to create motivation under very different circumstances. Things like writing a blog post. Launching a new program. Running a 5k.

You impose a deadline on yourself, thinking that the deadline is the thing that got you to pay your bill or do your taxes, so why wouldn’t it work to write a book?

Then, a few months pass, and your stomach sinks when you see the deadline on your calendar because you’ve only written three pages. Maybe you remind yourself that things have been crazy, and that you got really sick, but you’ll do better. You move the deadline out a few more months.

Do you see where this is going? ??

When a deadline is internally imposed…namely, when you make it up yourself…and you know there are no clear and obvious consequences to missing it…your mind knows this. It’s not dumb.

It knows that no one is showing up to send you to jail if you don’t record a podcast by Wednesday at 12pm.

The consequences are primarily internal.

Deadlines are effective when the consequence is primarily external.

So, you’ve got two options for goals or tasks that don't come pre-built with external consequences:

1. Create external consequences, AND/OR
2. Build internal desire to want to do the thing.

Because stubborn & intelligent brains are exceptionally good at wiggling out of external consequences of their own design, I've found that option #2 is much more effective in the long-term. Building the internal desire takes time/effort, however, and I fully support using external accountability as training wheels.

My coaching is a combo of intrinsic and extrinsic: we do a lot of work on creating desire and removing obstacles, but you get our sessions as training wheels (plus we build all sorts of clever hacks into your days). If you find yourself setting goals, but feeling repeatedly disappointed when you inevitably move the deadline out, it might be time to work with me.

Deadlines are useful when they help, but 100% not required if they don't. I hereby free you from the tyranny of missed deadlines, forever!

-Meg, your friendly neighorhood social science nerd/coach

One of my specialties is behavior change for ADHD brains, so that's you, get this class. It's one of the reasons I get called ADHD Yoda and will entirely change your relationship to your nervous system, for realsies.

When you're ready to create a bespoke life/business suited to all your unique brilliance, I offer 1:1 coaching or you can join the Black Sheep Playground (the best damn place in the world for rebel brains).

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