Why You’re Insecure

Have you ever seen an insecure baby?

I’ve never heard of or seen such a thing.

Nobody is BORN insecure about ANYTHING.

You are simply born. You judge nothing.

But then, you grow older. And once you grow up you start to become influenced by the outside world.

It is this outside world that ends up hurting your self-esteem and creating insecurities within yourself.

Once you’re a teenager, you’re at your most sensitive time in life. This is where the strongest insecurities are created. We all know how mean kids can be, so this is to be expected.

However, by the time you reach your teens, you’ve already been exposed to SO MUCH commentary, feedback, hate, jealousy, envy, etc… that you already have a “database” of things you are insecure about.

Imagine being 13 years old, disliking the math class, and then hearing from your math teacher “You’ll never amount to anything” just because she didn’t like your attitude in her class.

That happened to me. And fortunately, it just angered me in the moment and (from what I can tell) never affected me negatively.

But sooo many 13-year-olds would’ve taken that comment to heart. So many of them would’ve believed it and interiorized it forever.

And yet, 17 years later here we are. Still in a world where a bunch of adults express their frustration with their lives by making nasty comments to children who are too immature to know any better.

When you think about of all of this, you start to wonder how people end up being confident at all!

The point is, throughout your whole life, since you were a young child, you’ve had negativity and judgment thrown your way.

And the only way to fight that is evidence…

If you don’t have any sort of results or evidence proving that all of those judgments were wrong, then you become very likely to end up believing those judgments. Even if it’s just on a subconscious level.

Naturally, by the time you’re an adult, you have an extensive collection of all the things you “should” feel insecure about.

Maybe your parents repeatedly told you that you weren’t “made for computers and should focus on physical things”, or maybe they told you the opposite.

Maybe an ex-girlfriend said something about your nose, or a friend said you weren’t funny.

Those kinds of comments sting on a level deeper than the ocean. Why do you think I still remember that nasty comment my former math teacher made about me over 17 years ago?

You carry those comments with you because they truly hurt the moment you hear them. And as you carry them along with you, it’s like in the back of your mind there is always a recurring question: “What if it’s true? What if they’re right?”

You need the evidence to prove them wrong, otherwise, you just can’t be sure.

And THIS is where insecurities come from.

THIS is why you’re insecure.

Because the comments you’ve heard throughout your life had an ever-lasting impact and you haven’t found the evidence that they’re wrong. Well, you haven’t found it yet.

And that’s how I want to wrap this up.

You need to understand that, just because you are insecure right now, that doesn’t have to be a permanent situation.

You can start to believe in yourself.

You can start to believe in your potential.

You can start to “fake it ‘till you make it.”

You MUST start seeking the evidence that everyone else is wrong.

And if they happen to be right about something, you have the option to either improve that about yourself, or simply accept that it is part of yourself and love yourself for it. Like a newborn baby, you can just accept yourself for who you are.

You owe it to yourself to fight all of that negative influence you’ve been a victim of your whole life.

As a child, you can’t help yourself from being a victim, but as an adult, it’s your duty to stop being and acting like a victim.

What I recommend you do is write down a list of all of your insecurities.

You can take a long time to make this list, as you probably won’t remember all of them in one go. See that list as an ongoing project. Any time you think of something, you write it down.

Then, that list should become your “Insecurities Bucket List.”

The list of insecurities you need to tackle.

You can overcome all of them.

It’s just a matter of reprogramming your subconscious. And showing yourself you’re better than that.

Never stop hustling & never stop dreaming,

- Dez

P.S. I’m a Mindset Mentor and I’d be happy to help you overcome your insecurities if you think you could use some help! You can check out my official website https://kaidezen.com/ for more information